Nigriv_LV1 Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines... UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on... Mac Airlines All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up. Windows Air The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever. Windows NT Air Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes. Windows XP Air You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada. Jet-Linux Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?" Posters note: I'm scared of the fact that Linux is CaSe SeNsItVe. That is currently the biggest thing keeping me from building a Linux machine. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
madcappp Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 hahaha, nice Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587801753 Share on other sites More sharing options...
shiven Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 LOZL! NIce... Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802602 Share on other sites More sharing options...
dh5 Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 LOL :p [smartass]OS is actually an airline, its the IATA code for Austrian Airlines[/smartass] Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802606 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nashy Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 LOL :p [smartass]OS is actually an airline, its the IATA code for Austrian Airlines[/smartass] Pretty crap airline I've heard Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802612 Share on other sites More sharing options...
dh5 Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Pretty crap airline I've heard Who told you that, a Qantas pilot :rolleyes: Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802622 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ecotrojan Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 nice one Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802631 Share on other sites More sharing options...
gadean Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Fantastic!! Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802664 Share on other sites More sharing options...
j005u Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Nice one. And by the way, you can compile your filesystem drivers non-case sensitive ;) Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802669 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jase Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 hahah these are soo good (Y) :rofl: Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802887 Share on other sites More sharing options...
+John. Subscriber¹ Posted August 20, 2006 Subscriber¹ Share Posted August 20, 2006 Very very good. I'm definitely saving that one. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802892 Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxdesmus Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Windows Air and Windows NT Air are the best ...the XP one is a bit too long :whistle: Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802893 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigCheese Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 If Windows XP were and airline, there would be snakes on it. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802912 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bei337 Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 (edited) If Windows XP were and airline, there would be snakes on it. :rofl: and then Ballmer would shout "Enough is enough! I want these motherf**king snakes off this motherf**king plane!" Edited August 20, 2006 by SlightDust Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802969 Share on other sites More sharing options...
lol911 Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 I loved the UNIX-airplane joke :D The rest were not so good, though. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587802976 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaViD_BRaNDoN Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 The UNIX version is the best :D Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587803005 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Lyle Global Moderator Posted August 20, 2006 Global Moderator Share Posted August 20, 2006 i loved the XP airline.. it's 3x bigger then it needs to be :rofl: !!!!! Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587803159 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fourjays Veteran Posted August 20, 2006 Veteran Share Posted August 20, 2006 The first 5 were good. Didn't get XP, and the Linux one was spoilt by fanboyism. Should have just made fun of it like the others. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587803347 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nigriv_LV1 Posted August 20, 2006 Author Share Posted August 20, 2006 Nice one. And by the way, you can compile your filesystem drivers non-case sensitive ;) where my toolbox at? imma get me wunna doze! Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587803557 Share on other sites More sharing options...
PL_ Veteran Posted August 22, 2006 Veteran Share Posted August 22, 2006 The first 5 were good. Didn't get XP, and the Linux one was spoilt by fanboyism. Should have just made fun of it like the others. Here's a better one: Linux Coffee Shop Seeing the sign on the door that it's free, you go in there. You walk in and see several counters, all claiming to be more efficient than the others. So you start walking towards one, but then somebody taps you on the shoulder and says "I wouldn't use that one if I were you", so you go to another. They ask you what you're going to use the coffee for and how old you are. You tell them, and you then see several people trying to work the coffee machine, none of them really sure, so one of them says "Could you do this?" The coffee machine is unnecessarily complicated, but you get there in the end, although it lacks what you tasted in the Windows coffee. You then realise you have no milk, so you ask for some. You then get told "Fine, the cows are out back"... Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/488190-jokeif-os-were-airliners/#findComment-587808126 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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