Microsoft has killed Santa Claus today, after an unsatisfactory attempt to restrain the North Pole-based jolly old elf from instant messaging children about oral sex.
Although Redmond has been challenged by compassion in the past, this appears to be the first time on record it has out-and-out killed the very manifestation of goodwill.
Father Christmas was subject to some controversy this year when given the seasonal ID northpole@live.com on MSN messenger. While mostly sticking to an approved and traditional regimen of asking children what they want for Christmas, the mere mention of pizza would send him into a provocative froth about love-making of the mouth.
Microsoft informed us about their troubling decision to destroy the spirit of Christmas this morning.