These Are Actual Lines Form Military Performance Appraisals "OERS" (Officers Efficiency Reports)

By jnelsoninjax
in Jokes & Funny Stuff

 Share

Recommended Posts

Grand Master

jnelsoninjax

Posted
Posted
  • 1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
  • 2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
  • 3. A room temperature IQ.
  • 4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
  • 5. A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
  • 6. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
  • 7. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
  • 8. Bright as Alaska in December.
  • 9. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
  • 10. Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
  • 11. Fell out of the family tree.
  • 12. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
  • 13. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
  • 14. He is so dense, light bends around him.
  • 15. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
  • 16. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
  • 17. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
  • 18. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
  • 19. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
  • 20. One neuron short of a synapse.
  • 21. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
  • 22. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
  • 23. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
  • f5s4t3, Skiver and DConnell
  • Like 3
Grand Master

DConnell Member

Posted
  • Member
Posted (edited)

I often taken an entire day, or days to watch a single movie. I get distracted easily. 

I probably wouldn't do well in the military. :laugh:

I often took 4 hours to watch a 2 hour movie with my ex-girlfriend. She was constantly pausing the movie, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom. . . Can't beat that for a distraction!

 

Grand Master

T3X4S

Posted
Posted

I often took 4 hours to watch a 2 hour movie with my ex-girlfriend. She was constantly pausing the movie, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom. . . Can't beat that for a distraction!

 


She did that with you too ?  I thought it was just me ..... 

  • trag3dy and Yogimax
  • Like 2
Grand Master

Arachno 1D

Posted
Posted

I often took 4 hours to watch a 2 hour movie with my ex-girlfriend. She was constantly pausing the movie, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom. . . Can't beat that for a distraction!

 

Well Im sorry to say but if she went back to the movie you need to look into some sex manuals LOL.........sorry ..........news feeds say that should read HA HA!

Grand Master

+Warwagon MVC

Posted
  • MVC
Posted (edited)

"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." that one made me laugh

so may times it has taken me 4 hours to watch a 2 hour movie. I can't do 2 things at once. If someones talking to me, I pause the movie.
 

How do we know these are These Are Actual Lines Form Military Performance Appraisals "OERS" (Officers Efficiency Reports)?

This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing