joke These Are Actual Lines Form Military Performance Appraisals "OERS" (Officers Efficiency Reports)

[jnelsoninjax]

• 1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
• 2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
• 3. A room temperature IQ.
• 4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
• 5. A gross ignoramus--144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
• 6. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
• 7. A prime candidate for natural deselection.
• 8. Bright as Alaska in December.
• 9. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
• 10. Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
• 11. Fell out of the family tree.
• 12. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
• 13. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
• 14. He is so dense, light bends around him.
• 15. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
• 16. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
• 17. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
• 18. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
• 19. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
• 20. One neuron short of a synapse.
• 21. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
• 22. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
• 23. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

[DConnell Member]

I need to remember these!

[trag3dy]

 

• 22. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

I often taken an entire day, or days to watch a single movie. I get distracted easily. 

I probably wouldn't do well in the military. 

[DConnell Member]

I often taken an entire day, or days to watch a single movie. I get distracted easily. 

I probably wouldn't do well in the military. 

I often took 4 hours to watch a 2 hour movie with my ex-girlfriend. She was constantly pausing the movie, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom. . . Can't beat that for a distraction!

 

[T3X4S]

I often took 4 hours to watch a 2 hour movie with my ex-girlfriend. She was constantly pausing the movie, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom. . . Can't beat that for a distraction!

 

She did that with you too ?  I thought it was just me ..... 

[DConnell Member]

She did that with you too ?  I thought it was just me ..... 

Wow, she does get around!

[Arachno 1D]

I need to say something on this,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,OOH SHINY...................where was I?

[Arachno 1D]

I often took 4 hours to watch a 2 hour movie with my ex-girlfriend. She was constantly pausing the movie, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom. . . Can't beat that for a distraction!

 

Well Im sorry to say but if she went back to the movie you need to look into some sex manuals LOL.........sorry ..........news feeds say that should read HA HA!

[+Warwagon MVC]

"If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." that one made me laugh

so may times it has taken me 4 hours to watch a 2 hour movie. I can't do 2 things at once. If someones talking to me, I pause the movie.
 

How do we know these are These Are Actual Lines Form Military Performance Appraisals "OERS" (Officers Efficiency Reports)?