sunbiz_3000 Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Comprehending Engineers - Take One > Two engineering students were walking across campus > when one said, > "Where did you get such a great bike?" > The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking > along yesterday minding > my own business when a Beautiful woman rode up on > this bike. She threw the > bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and > said, "Take what you > want." > The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good > choice; the clothes wouldn't > have fit anyway." > Lesson: Don't bother to drop even the most obvious > hint, they can't catch > anyway. > (This is a reality! If you don't believe, test > them!) > > Comprehending Engineers - Take Two > To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the > pessimist, the glass half > empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as > it needs to be. > Lesson: There is no philosophy to talk abt but > calculations and > calculations... > > Comprehending Engineers -Take Three > A pastor, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one > morning for a > particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer > fumed, "What's with these > guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The > doctor chimed in, "I > don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude". > The pastor said, "Hey, > here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with > him." "Hi John. Say, > what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather > slow, aren't they?" > The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group > of blind firefighters. > They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a > fire last year, so we > always let them play for free anytime." > The group was silent for a moment. > Then the pastor said, "That's so sad I think I will > say a special prayer > for them tonight." > The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to > contact my ophthalmologist > buddy and see if there's anything he can do for > them." > The engineer, after much thought said, "Why can't > these guys play at > night?" > Lesson: No emotions please, only practicality works > here. > > Comprehending Engineers -Take Four > What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers > and Civil Engineers? > Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers > build targets. > Lesson: They build and build and build and build > and... to compliment one > another. > > Comprehending Engineers -Take Five > Three engineering students were gathered together > discussing the possible > designers of the human body. One said, "It was a > mechanical engineer. Just > look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was > an electrical engineer. > The nervous system has many thousands of electrical > connections." The last > said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else > would run a toxic waste > pipeline through a recreational area?" > Lesson: All of them have their own theories. None > for believing! > > Comprehending Engineers -Take Six > "Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't > fix it. Engineers > believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have > enough features yet." > Lesson: They are complicated and twisted. > > Comprehending Engineers -Take Seven > An architect, an artist, and an engineer were > discussing whether it was > better to spend time with a wife or a mistress. > The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, > building a solid > foundation for an enduring relationship. > The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, > because of the passion > and mystery he found there. > The engineer said, "I like both." > "Both?" > "Yeah," replied the engineer. "If you have a wife > and a mistress, they > will each assume you are spending time with the > other woman, and you can > go to the lab and get some work done." > Lesson: Gals, NEVER fall for an engineer!!! > > Comprehending Engineers - Take Eight > An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog > called out to him and > said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful > princess." He bent over, > picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The > frog spoke up again and > said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a > beautiful princess, I will > stay with you for > one week." The engineer took the frog out of his > pocket, smiled at it and > returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, > "If you kiss me and > turn me back into a beautiful princess I'll stay > with you and do ANYTHING > you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, > smiled at it and put it > back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What > is the matter? I've > told you I'm a > beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a > week and do anything you > want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, > "Look I'm an engineer. I > don't have time for a girlfriend, but a TALKING > frog, now that's cool! > Lesson: Once again, gals, NEVER fall for an > engineer!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rumbleph1$h Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 :laugh: lol @ take one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmove Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 Haha that's cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kyro Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 first class ... but angry that i spent time reading this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rek Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 lol (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
p0welly Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frankyOrdeal Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 :blink: I hope I don't become one of those guys....i am going to engineering next year Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D,Ranged Posted April 30, 2004 Share Posted April 30, 2004 lol funny :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stncttr908 Veteran Posted May 1, 2004 Veteran Share Posted May 1, 2004 Sadly, some of those are true and I'm only in my freshman year. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poulet Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 hehehe very kewl /me is a first year engineering student Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominican0 Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 wow yea, im an electrical engineer, fresh year, and i can see some of those being proved true, with some of the grad students at my school, haha...hope i never become like that :D doubt it, but you never know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesardrgn Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 those are great... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IP Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 hahaha take 8 is sooooo true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sukamusiru Posted May 1, 2004 Share Posted May 1, 2004 Sweet, haha. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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