mzkhadir Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 As said by Homer Simpson. When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word. There is no such thing as a bad doughnut. Kids are like monkeys, only louder. If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless. There are many different religions in this world, but if you look at them carefully, you'll see that they all have one thing in common: a giant, superintelligent slug named Dennis invented them. You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me?it'll save you a lot of hassle. You can have many different jobs and still be lazy. I enjoy the great taste of Duff. Yes, Duff is the only beer for me. Smooth, creamy Duff.. zzzzzzzzzzzzz. You can get free stuff if you mention a product in a magazine interview. Like Chips Ahoy! cookies. You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions. There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten. The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry?I meant sticks. Pointed sticks. There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them?starting with 8. I've always hated 8. If I had a dollar for every time I heard ?My God! He's covered in some sort of goo,? I'd be a rich man. Be generous in the bedroom?share your sandwich. I've climbed the highest mountains . . . fallen down the deepest valleys . . . I've been to Japan and Africa . . . and I've even gone into space. But I'd trade it all for a piece of candy right now. Every creature on God's earth has a right to exist. Except for that damn ruby-throated South American warbler. I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself. Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is. Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen. Even though it is awesome and powerful, I don't take no guff from the ocean. I never ate an animal I didn't like. A fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a hook caught on his eyelid or something. I made a deal with myself ten years ago . . . and got ripped off. Never leave your car keys in a reactor core. Always trust your first instinct?unless it tells you to use your life savings to develop a Destructo Ray. When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness. If a spaceship landed and aliens took me back to their planet and made me their leader, and I got to spend the rest of my life eating doughnuts and watching alien dancing girls and ruling with a swift and merciless hand? That would be sweet. I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest. Never throw a butcher knife in anger. The office is no place for off-color remarks or offensive jokes. That's why I never go there. My favorite color is chocolate. Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands. The hardest thing I've had to face as a father was burying my own child. He climbed back out, but it still hurts. If doctors are so right, why am I still alive? I'm not afraid to say the word racism, or the words doormat and bee stinger. Always have plenty of clean white shirts and blue pants. When that guy turned water into wine, he obviously wasn't thinking of us Duff drinkers. I love natural disasters because we're allowed to get out of work. When I'm dead, I'm going to sleep. Oh, man, am I going to sleep. What kind of fool would leave a pie on a windowsill, anyway? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riz360 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 LOL! wtf?! Im an avid fan of the simpsons, and Ive never heard any one of those come out of Homer's mouth...never....whats going on here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mzkhadir Posted May 10, 2004 Author Share Posted May 10, 2004 (edited) Its from Esquire Magazine. They did a sort of interview with Homer Simpson. Its like this What I 've learned from life ? Edited May 10, 2004 by mzkhadir Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.will Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 As said by Homer Simpson.When someone tells you your butt is on fire, you should take them at their word. There is no such thing as a bad doughnut. Kids are like monkeys, only louder. If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless. There are many different religions in this world, but if you look at them carefully, you'll see that they all have one thing in common: a giant, superintelligent slug named Dennis invented them. You should just name your third kid Baby. Trust me?it'll save you a lot of hassle. You can have many different jobs and still be lazy. I enjoy the great taste of Duff. Yes, Duff is the only beer for me. Smooth, creamy Duff.. zzzzzzzzzzzzz. You can get free stuff if you mention a product in a magazine interview. Like Chips Ahoy! cookies. You may think it's easier to de-ice your windshield with a flamethrower, but there are repercussions. Serious repercussions. There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten. The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry?I meant sticks. Pointed sticks. There are way too many numbers. The world would be a better place if we lost half of them?starting with 8. I've always hated 8. If I had a dollar for every time I heard ?My God! He's covered in some sort of goo,? I'd be a rich man. Be generous in the bedroom?share your sandwich. I've climbed the highest mountains . . . fallen down the deepest valleys . . . I've been to Japan and Africa . . . and I've even gone into space. But I'd trade it all for a piece of candy right now. Every creature on God's earth has a right to exist. Except for that damn ruby-throated South American warbler. I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself. Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is. Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen. Even though it is awesome and powerful, I don't take no guff from the ocean. I never ate an animal I didn't like. A fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me. Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he'll get a hook caught on his eyelid or something. I made a deal with myself ten years ago . . . and got ripped off. Never leave your car keys in a reactor core. Always trust your first instinct?unless it tells you to use your life savings to develop a Destructo Ray. When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness. If a spaceship landed and aliens took me back to their planet and made me their leader, and I got to spend the rest of my life eating doughnuts and watching alien dancing girls and ruling with a swift and merciless hand? That would be sweet. I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest. Never throw a butcher knife in anger. The office is no place for off-color remarks or offensive jokes. That's why I never go there. My favorite color is chocolate. Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands. The hardest thing I've had to face as a father was burying my own child. He climbed back out, but it still hurts. If doctors are so right, why am I still alive? I'm not afraid to say the word racism, or the words doormat and bee stinger. Always have plenty of clean white shirts and blue pants. When that guy turned water into wine, he obviously wasn't thinking of us Duff drinkers. I love natural disasters because we're allowed to get out of work. When I'm dead, I'm going to sleep. Oh, man, am I going to sleep. What kind of fool would leave a pie on a windowsill, anyway?[/quot:huh: /> umm :huh:? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mojomonkee Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 i want my five seconds back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bayrider Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 LOLOL Homer is the sh!t Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hum Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 There is no such thing as a bad doughnut. :o Oh yes there is ... I've nearly choked before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jebadiah Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 mmmmm.....something.......D'OH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keldyn Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 Oh yeah.... [moved to Jokes n' Funny stuff] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wannes Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 d'oh :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spiegel Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 I've climbed the highest mountains . . . fallen down the deepest valleys . . . I've been to Japan and Africa . . . andI've even gone into space. But I'd trade it all for a piece of candy right now. HELL YEA CANDY IS THE SH*T!!!! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingbob Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiagosilva29 Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 My favorite color is chocolate. :cry: That's.... beautiful! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesardrgn Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 That guy rocks... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firebud Posted May 11, 2004 Share Posted May 11, 2004 Hrm..go Homer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts