CustardFD Posted March 8, 2002 Share Posted March 8, 2002 Chapter 2 It was a stormy night and 3nd3r was dreaming about b33r. He couldn't afford it, so he made a scheme up which involved other people buying it for him, this he called his "fan club", but his idea failed miserably and he ended up chatting with a load of lamers online, so one day he decided to go down to Best Buy and purchase a holiday to Fiji, but since Best Buy is a computer shop, he couldn't find it, so instead he decided to buy a new Athlon XP for Z3r0, but instead, the salesperson gave him an Intel chip instead. Because of this, Z3r0 had a expensive paperweight that he threw off a cliff, because he found himself out of things to do, and it turned into an AMD chip and came back into z3r0's hand. Because Intel sucks, but doesn?t swallow. The squirrel I think this is finally The End. Oh wait a minute (says Steve Balmer), and Bill Gates starts singing "This is the story that never ends, it goes on n on my friend..."! Some fella started reading this damn long thread, and people will keep replying just because..........this is the thread that never end.....yes it goes on and on my friends... ! Suddenly a ghost tapped him on the testicle with a here and a b there and suddenly, a guy passed gas then the pants he wore ripped like Pamela Anderson?s red bra after she said, ?My my hair tastes like hair!? But my dog smells like the like Vinh dishwashing detergent my mom stinks very likes your dad who loves boys named Silvorgold and drinks b33r that is Canadian. Because cold Canadians need a good b33r. They eat b33r that has dust mites n poutine and 3nd3r?s big girlfriend who was using 3nd3r as a bodyguard, but instead, she went to use Vinh as a boytoy, which made 3nd3r extremely tired and ****ed because apples suck and taste like stereos and 3nd3r?s girlfriend?s dog who eats 3nd3r?s b33r p0st3rs that were hanging on Jim Carrey?s boxers which stink so bad that made Canadians ban themselves and 3nd3r from the depths of Xcalibur house since Jean Poutine, that is bigger than b33r p0w@, which is 1337 because it just is. Simsville Star, which is bigger than Ben Hur, was going to go around to the garden where green grass mohocked and Xcalibur was mocking El Diablo Forto, the king of all while doing something that shouldn?t execute because purple slurpees were given to gnomes named Codrum the one who was formerly known as Dog. Dog sniffed glue because of smoking the stuff that was sitting on the floor. I think it had to be over 48 million years and 2 days without the use of Windows XP or Chocolate OS became cocoa. Linux-Mandrake 12.2 by Xcalibur who went and screamed because spiders were scaring him. So, Bo Jangles decided to eat the spiders? webs which were extremely hot and steamy. Suddenly, a bug roared out and went w00t! W00t! Then pooped his pants when he saw Saddam Insane running quickly without pants down the cruise missile target zoneat which time the founder of gaypeoplegohere.com saw Gill Bates whacking the stick with George Bush and his drunk daughters who had small brains, but they loved farts which smelled like something that crawled out of 3nd3r?s and sang his favourite song, ?Macho Man? because 3nd3r loves girls that are masculine except that Silvorgold loves the masculine men. Well Osiris was getting turned on by old men while Bill Gates was hacking the Apple. Osiris laughed his ass off as Silvorgold woke up and realised he was dreaming about the old men well Osiris was going all mental since Xcalibur is the god and Bob ran back to page 1 of the forums because Osiris posted a reply about Internet speeds on Windows XP and Linux, and then the aliens invaded and asked for a cup of sugar. But then Faction put gold bond in the sugar bowl and gave it to the aliens and it caused a chain reaction amongst the multiverse causing a b, ?a b what?? ponders EmuZombie and Webgraph! While Webgraph and EmuZombie were pondering on how to be ?The One?, a war broke out that lasted 4 seconds and a cup of coffee later, Apple took over Microsoft. Then an orange came around and laughed at the apple and went to the best diagnostic tool thread. The sex rumble was so loud that the thread was rocking like a Bob Dylan concert back in the 70's. Back at the hall of justice, hardocp.com was watercooling an Xbox and XP with b33r! Lotsa beer in fact and then they took a huge steak of tuna and stuck it down the front of their pants while Toxicfume headed out to door in the direction of Kansas. Now Neobond and Redmak were getting into some big ###### houses where they were turned down after they used their extra-small schlongs on a big poll that was meant for use on the ###### big nutsack. Later on ShOcKz1104 had nothing better to do so he decided to look at midget pr0n after he got back from Walla-Walla, Washington. Then the cops discovered that it wasn't ShOcKz1104 looking a the porn, but it was in fact scooby! *shocking music* The cops stayed at the ###### house to eat and get AOL IPs and MSN internet to try to expose them for crappy isp who disconects there users every damn freakin minute While they tried to play multiplayer games. So they ate some donuts then drank some b33r then rang the aol help line... Then beat up some little kids and stole their lunch money then one of there dad comes up to him and pimp smacks them so they haul ass to burger king and start eating the cheapest burgers. Then one of them finds spit in his hamburger and pulls out his gun who shoots his sorry ass then buys a new hamburger. He throughs the hamburger at a dog then the dog attacks a guy and then jessica alba shows up in a sexy little black number only to reveal she's really a killer donkey thats going to good-looking ###### and also a killer donkey throw up on a beach with lots of idiots on it that are playing with little pink beachballs. Then the beachballs started to blow their heads off and then the lifeguards from baywatch bouncing, bouncing around like like 2 DD breasts, with no bra support packed up their toys and started skinny dipping with electric jellyfish!! After that they started to drown however along came a cd player... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CustardFD Posted March 8, 2002 Share Posted March 8, 2002 Chapter 3 3nd3r once was a normal member of neowin till he was kidnapped by Silvorgold and Webgraph because Webgraph wanted 3nd3r's computer. But 3nd3r's computer is a piece of crap so Webgraph and Silvergold decided to beat him with a zombie head which oozed and spoke in 10 different languages including FISHIAN and Swahili! Then the head said "My donder, ek kan in ander taale vloek en dit sal nie opgetel word deur die 'moderators' nie"..... They knew that having Wazat as a mod would help translate certain posts and then out of the blue came 3nd3r with b33r in hand and chanting b33r p0w@. He was so drunk that he tripped over his ide cable which he forgot to fix on his way to Keldyn's! 3nd3r, the ambiguously drunk and highly flatulent chosen one hereby decreed that all hot girls must all hot girls must neowin for neobond hand outs signed / autographed. Neobond (aka the neowin "ladies man") because he said "i be pimpin dee'z intels cause money ain't a thang". Redmak got p/o because neobond took redmak's new computer and inserted a virus from infected needles from britney spears' breast implants opperation when she was sleeping dreaming about me. 3nd3r walked in buck naked. The room was cold, and he knocks on his door but no one knows who he is! Meanwhile, back in reality, morpheus put on his cool sunglasses and made himself some kazaa with a dash of warez and a pinch of marmalade then jesse "the cow went to the whitehouse wearing Y fronts and high on sillicone breast implants coloured the way hippies see the rainbow at the break of dawn and in the morning. Wired from too much warez, that was sold to him by neobond because we wanted to build posts in a hurry sold us this warez. Meanwhile on the farm in the middle of Texas a transvestite was riding a sheep searching for bill gates and a fix for his pirated copy of win XP but Bills couldnt unlock it just then Tabatha Cash turns up and says "luke, i'm your father and Phil Gates is your son and im your ho". they then all took there clothes off and were caught by david spade on girls gone wild!! The late phil hartman, seeing everyone doing the biz called david spade who said One ring to rule them all One ring to find them One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them in holy matrimony until the end of democracy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irdawood Posted March 8, 2002 Share Posted March 8, 2002 that was good reading lol lol and more lol hehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silvorgold Posted March 8, 2002 Share Posted March 8, 2002 . Jacques Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mariusu Posted March 9, 2002 Share Posted March 9, 2002 told them..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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irdawood Posted March 10, 2002 Share Posted March 10, 2002 shove it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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irdawood Posted March 10, 2002 Share Posted March 10, 2002 computer air extractor fan hole this caused the computer too.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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