One word Story game

By Kheldar
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Deryck

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Okay, I have modified the chapters so they actually make sense and have been imprved, see for your self. I have tried to do my best here but it is late now. In addition, it is getting old now and it is not that funny anymore. In fact, I think it is dying now.

Chapter 1, part 1

Today, we ate pizza with red wine and squirrels when, oversized elephants wearing pink racing condoms busted and then my rectum talked loudly, everyone thought that I would burst out in flames but I didn?t stink that much except when the dog took a huge crap on my pink tutu inside the imac CDROM tray dildo. A 2001 competition featuring elephants alongside squirrels armed with torpedoes aimed directly over Bill had my pot-belly pig and pushed my cancerous clock into a hat filled with Horse sh*t and turnips that always gets eaten with strawberry yoghurt pots, except when sleeping hairy feet covered with gravy stains and stuck to burning ashes among giggling daisies flying towards my throbbing member of parliament called that. That said who licks my p***y shall upside himself into pulsating his excessively large hole-punch through his mothers goat brother and vomits on his pet d**k.

Meanwhile the renovations were taking place when friends explode. On Tuesday evening my sister started smacking purple Cambodians with dead chickens and tuna fish paste, which had hazelnuts squeezed into vibrating drums. The chickens only masturbated in line before being vomited on. We all ate Thongs that smelled of old sweaty ****roaches wrapped with pastry (shortcrust) and evil fellow squirrels. Why did the GDI attack Lesbians-R-Us? Because they had illegal donuts covered with warez-cds labeled... "Windows XP Professional?, So Lezbianz-R-Us, sold them all to Apple-Corp, but it didn?t work because 128 necrophiliacs came and chewed flaming maggots and Jelly babies.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, one of the Tontos, disguised as a door, disposed something into buckets filled with strawberry turkey stew. George-Dubbya hired professionally trained monkeys to dig through the rooftops with plastic ######! ....Well, after the shambler screwed the necrophilia?s bodies against Intel's Pentium 9000 GHz cow flavored shotguns, Microsoft said "Chickens MUST cross activation before 20 years of good dedication?. Sexy Jemima, the squirrel, dances with wolves that won?t bite Mr. [insert your name here]. Is the cheese fat? Yes. But what it was designed to do was to make Linux RedHat?s chocolate gummy bears scrumptious! So the slimy PCI Slots thought about going fisting donkeys.....

REBOOT... LOADING WINDOWS XP... *STOP* ...

Suddenly, Grandpa Joe noticed something weird inside computer monthly, his mother suddenly made love with page 62 and page 63. Sex0red, the 9 inch long penis extension under the hummer, started to procrastinate over the thought of smelling like rotting c**chie and looking like a haemorrhoid covered baboon ass which tastes like pudding with tomatoes and carrots. At this time Penelope was having an ice cream steak that tastes like Captain Phatty.

Meanwhile the squirrel was talking horny to my favourite microwave (who!), sang about blow-up hamburgers. Then out of nowhere some aliens from Mars took his moustache long and white and burnt it. This cheesed off Mister Micro$oft Man because Gill Bates urinated for years on OIGNYBOINGY!

Sightings of Bin-Laden being F**ked by sum x-rayed cows, that were huffing glue, showed up on Jeopardy doing the nasty with a nuclear missile. Suddenly Strom Thurmond yelled "Pigeons don't dress wolves unless they take off their nerfherders and suspenders"

500 Miles away Jack was having sex with a moose!

Underage teens need porn stardom with the School Football Players' assistances. However this results in teenage suicide escalations that result in a total catastrophe and reduction in "male testosterone levels"!!!

Today's weather: Expect a 99% chance of a XP warez thunderstorm in Bill Gates' country that will result in a conspiracy involving strippers with amazingly interesting boobs. Meanwhile your mom drank waaaaaay too much alcoholic beverages and the moose was not imprisoned by monks who had anal pudding. The monkeys began typing "President Bush had little underpants filled with itching polar bear manure that steamed at a perpendicular triangulation in relation to his body." Then, suddenly the Neowinians ejaculated lots of pink cotton-candy DNA with chips.

Meanwhile... McDonald's was attacked by robots wielding Palm m500's. ?Eeeek? said the spider, smoking another blunt cigar. Then elephants raised their hoofs because in Jamaica the fear of squirrels have terrified their brains and eaten beans all day long!

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH:

Reboot

Loading Windows XP Professional

Please wait...

Damn that's good!

Therefore, plasma screen TV rules all. Bill Gates what the fudge? Penguins playing trumpets with their butts. This is revolting, but he went pee on boo and spontaneously combusted.

Weekend Update: There has been a terrible tragedy....

I'm Brian Fellows in Tiananmen Square buying "The script of this thread: Summarized by Phil Gates: Danke" Suddenly ants would be considered as offspring because the killer whale? THE END. The end IS NEAR. Well, Grandpa dissolved into tiny bits of goo (right on, MAN!) but, although some may say the goo tasted like chicken and smelled like fish, I cooked myself a big fat dish of sardines but Willywonka, my cat, ate the sardines and took a dump in my new saut? pan, pee'ed in my whiskey and tickled my best friends nut-sack.

Meanwhile, squirrels have sex in the bushes during a full hurricane in Coconut Grove, Florida. Suddenly a bolt of lightning crashed down and killed the squirrels that were having it since I got high on women!

Frequent flyer miles collected by beer drinkers and Kheldar ate Chicken mayonnaise with catsup and fries near Ronnie Davees who shoved potatoes up his hamster?s ass slowly. Boring but delightful. **** I was going to post something, but I just got fired from my job. ****ing fegs. So pigs flew throughout the inside of a fishbowl and were shot down by Afghanistan missiles, the US reacted by burning incense non-stop inside of their Playboy printing factory which unfortunately printed 2,000,000 images of Britney fully clothed by accident but little did we know Britney was a man, so it was good that the pictures were fully clothed. Though people still liked it all over 5 cents. Maybe that?s why we started this whole thing. In the end, the monkeys and all of Neowin were happy. But wait...... what about the Playboy magazines? It turned out to be Janet Reno with her new breast implants.

THE END..... And its final more did we know.

Or is it?

stay tuned

Same Neowin time

Same Neowin channel

voice>

The terrifying situation featuring testicles stewing in a red hot office assistant by the security guard who ate chicken pina colada salad with a side order of cumfilled peppers which were more spicy than usual and caused an unexpected smell to arise and knocked out anyone who smelt it like the spleen to play volleyball by the seaside with hot naked chicks. Little Normy got lucky, he didn?t get hurt nor saddened. But suddenly!! a tornado sucked Homer....

Today, we ate pizza with red wine and squirrels when, oversized elephants wearing pink socks and wore green boxers with red white and blue, and a t-shirt that read God Bless America was proudly worn by Osama Bin Laden! George W. Bush who liked to bomb the crap out of Afghanistan. YAY Cheered Rudy and all New Yorkers. Only crap tastes good, why did you say why? Because I felt like it, and it was worth it because?? Wonderful! The beer I drank transformed into a cyber monkey spanking the psycho Microsoft. While creatures infested with herpes trying to eat maggots with gonnoria and elaphantitus in the testicles of an octopus which swelled up into a balloon that dropped him in the new Neowin chat room where he farted loudly like bombs in Afghanistan falling out of the sky.

They hit the water bottle that shattered like a turd from a rotten ######. Suddenly, Microsoft Bob Saget started boring with stupid Fire breathing camels and LCD Imac2 while -FX- was trying to eat toddlers but then his pants lit on fire. Causing an ecological disaster on BSOD island, when 3nd3r climbed upon his lazydesert? and zoomed off to his personal jet and drank till he passed out, and ended up on beer **** and when Vinh smacked himself on 3nd3rs big head 3nd3r kicked Vinh in the butt, but it seemed very mushy because 3nd3rs mum killed Vinh's toilet seat and shot Vinh's Pinky friend, 3nd3r. And then the end.

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Deryck

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Chapter 1, part 2

But the next day, it was sunny and purple, with a thick haze of green fog on the naked women?s boyfriend magazine. I thought milk looked like the Z3r0s Theme? Pfft I am trying to be original to put "the end" as imaginative as I am. But just as Z3r0 was replying to an email, spam poured into Neowin?s forums! 3nd3r fixed his car because his tire had VIA drivers and kept crashing, so he was ****ed off. Then he copied and pasted the URL into the recycle bin and emptied it. I drank a lot of b33r because I am 1337 and I get free b33r. Because I own a store where old Canadians cuss you out over 30 cent postcards. Because they are cheap old Canadians who really do hate everyone except other old Canadians who don?t know what the hell they?re talking about and played Doom because they got bored and then a comet struck the Earth. THE END.

Because they are dead and cheap, and can?t afford RTCW, but God gave them life again because he was a nice bloke, and they wanted to thank God somehow so they went and died again and they came to buy him max payne (poor ******* must be tired of god sims they thought ) from Best Buy, where their prices are really expensive, so they stole it because the service at Best Buy was one by one, of bad service and all went to the cinema to watch Got Cath by Cops and Shot in the Head and died and end of story. Hum, back to Winamp Theme thingy, hf!

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Deryck

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Chapter 2, part 1

It was a stormy night and 3nd3r was dreaming about the b33r. He couldn't afford it, so he made a scheme up which involved other people buying it for him, this he called his "fan club", but his idea failed miserably and he ended up chatting with a load of lamers online, so one day he decided to go down to Best Buy and purchase a holiday to Fiji, but since Best Buy is a computer shop, he couldn't find it, so instead he decided to buy a new Athlon XP for Z3r0, but instead, the salesperson gave him an Intel chip instead. Because of this, Z3r0 had a expensive paperweight that he threw off a cliff, because he found himself out of things to do, and it turned into an AMD chip and came back into z3r0's hand. Because Intel sucks, but doesn?t swallow. The squirrel I think this is finally The End.

Oh wait a minute (says Steve Balmer), and Bill Gates starts singing "This is the story that never ends, it goes on and on my friend!" Some person started reading this damn long thread and people will keep replying just because..........this is the thread that never ends.....yes it goes on and on my friends! Suddenly a ghost tapped him on the testicle with a here and there suddenly, a guy passed gas then the pants he wore ripped like Pamela Anderson?s red bra after she said, ?Why does my hair taste like hair?? But my dog smells like the like Vinh dishwashing detergent my mom stinks very like your dad, who loves boys named Silvorgold and drinks b33r, which is Canadian. Because cold Canadians need a good b33r. They eat b33r that has dust mites and poutine and 3nd3r?s big girlfriend, who was using 3nd3r as a bodyguard, but instead, she went to use Vinh as a boytoy, which made 3nd3r extremely tired and ****ed because apples suck and taste like stereos and 3nd3r?s girlfriend?s dog, who eats 3nd3r?s b33r p0st3rs that were hanging on Jim Carrey?s boxers, which stink so bad that made Canadians ban themselves and 3nd3r from the depths of Xcalibur?s house since Jean Poutine, that is bigger than b33r p0w@, which is 1337 because it just is.

Simsville Star, which was bigger than Ben Hur, was going around to the garden where green grass mohocked and Xcalibur was mocking El Diablo Forto, the king of all, while doing something that shouldn?t execute because purple slurpees were given to gnomes named Codrum, the name meant one who was formerly known as Dog. Dog sniffed glue because of smoking the stuff that was sitting on the floor.

I think it had to be over 48 million years and 2 days without the use of Windows XP or Chocolate OS, which became cocoa. Linux- Mandrake 12.2, by Xcalibur, who went and screamed because spiders were scaring him. So, Bo Jangles decided to eat the spiders? webs which were extremely hot and steamy. Suddenly, a bug roared out and went w00t! W00t! Then pooped his pants when he saw Saddam Insane running quickly without pants down the cruise missile target zone at which time the founder of gaypeoplegohere.com saw Gill Bates whacking the stick with George Bush and his drunk daughters who had small brains, but they loved farts which smelled like something that crawled out of the 3nd3r?s and sang his favourite song, ?Macho Man? because 3nd3r loves girls that are masculine except that Silvorgold loves the masculine men. Well Osiris was getting turned on by old men while Bill Gates was hacking the Apple operating systems. Osiris laughed his ass off as Silvorgold woke up to realise that he was dreaming about the old men. Osiris was going all mental since Xcalibur is the god and Bob ran back to page 1 of the forums because Osiris posted a reply about Internet speeds on Windows XP and Linux. Then aliens invaded and asked for a cup of sugar but then Faction put gold bond in the sugar bowl and gave it to the aliens which caused a chain reaction amongst the multiverse causing a b, ?a b what?? Ponders EmuZombie and Webgraph! While Webgraph and EmuZombie were pondering on how to be ?The One?, a war broke out that lasted for 4 seconds and then a cup of coffee later, Apple took over Microsoft. Then an orange came around and laughed at the apple and went to the best diagnostic tool thread. The sex rumble was so loud that the thread was rocking like a Bob Dylan concert back in the 70's. Back at the hall of justice, hardocp.com was watercooling an Xbox and XP with b33r! Lotsa beer in fact and then they took a huge steak of tuna and stuck it down the front of their pants while Toxicfume headed out to door in the direction of Kansas.

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Deryck

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Chapter 2, part 2

Now Neobond and Redmak were getting into some big ###### houses where they were turned down after they used their extra- small schlongs on a big poll that was meant for use on the ###### big nutsack. Later, ShOcKz1104 had nothing better to do so he decided to look at midget pr0n after he got back from Walla-Walla, Washington. Then the cops discovered that it wasn't ShOcKz1104 looking at the porn, but it was in fact scooby! *shocking music*

The cops stayed at the ###### house to eat and to get AOL IPs and MSN Internet so to try to expose them for crappy ISPs who disconnect their users every damn freakin minute, while they tried to play multiplayer games. So they ate some donuts then drank some b33r then rang the AOL helpline, then beat up some little kids and stole their lunch money then one of their fathers came up to him and pimp smacks them so they haul their ass? to Burger King and start eating the cheapest burgers. Then one of them finds spit in his hamburger and pulls out his gun who shoots his sorry ass then buys a new hamburger. He threw the hamburger at a dog then the dog attacks a guy and then Jessica alba shows up in a sexy little black number only to reveal she's really a killer donkey that?s going to a good-looking ######. The killer donkey vomited on a beach with lots of idiots on it that were playing with little pink beach balls. Then the beach balls started to blow their heads off and then the lifeguards from Baywatch, bouncing, bouncing around like 2 DD breasts with no bra support, packed up their toys and started skinny dipping with electric jellyfish!! After that they started to drown however along came a CD player...

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Deryck

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Chapter 3, part 1

3nd3r once was a normal member of Neowin until he was kidnapped by Silvorgold and Webgraph because Webgraph wanted 3nd3r's computer. But 3nd3r's computer is a piece of crap so Webgraph and Silvergold decided to beat him with a zombie head which oozed and spoke in 10 different languages including FISHIAN and Swahili.

Then the head said "My donder, ek kan in ander taale vloek en dit sal nie opgetel word deur die 'moderators' nie"..... They knew that having Wazat as a mod would help translate certain posts and then out of the blue came 3nd3r with b33r in hand and chanting b33r p0w@. He was so drunk that he tripped over his IDE cable which he forgot to fix on his way to Keldyn's!

3nd3r, the ambiguously drunk and highly flatulent chosen one hereby decreed that all hot girls must all hot girls must neowin for neobond hand outs signed / autographed. Neobond (aka the neowin "ladies man") because he said "i be pimpin dee'z intels cause money ain't a thang".

Redmak got p/o because Neobond took redmak's new computer and inserted a virus from infected needles, which came from Britney Spears' breast implants operation when she was sleeping dreaming about me. 3nd3r walked in buck naked. The room was cold, and he knocks on his door but no one knows who he is!

Meanwhile, back in reality, Morpheus put on his cool sunglasses and made himself some kazaa with a dash of warez and a pinch of marmalade then jesse. The cow went to the Whitehouse wearing Y fronts and high on silicone breast implants coloured the way hippies see the rainbow at the break of dawn and later in the morning. Wired from too much warez, that was sold to him by Neobond because we wanted to build posts in a hurry so he sold us this warez.

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Deryck

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Chapter 3, part 2

Meanwhile on the farm in the middle of Texas a transvestite was riding a sheep searching for Bill Bates and a fix for his pirated copy of Windows XP but Bill?s couldn?t unlock it. Just then Tabatha Cash turns up and says "Luke, I'm your father and Phil Gates (Don?t let hunger happen) is your son and I?m your ho". They then all took there clothes off and were caught by David Spade on ?Girls Gone Wild?!!

The late Phil Hartman, seeing everyone doing the biz, called David Spade who said

?One ring to rule them all

One ring to find them

One ring to bring them all

and in the darkness bind them

in holy matrimony until the end of democracy.?

Jacques told them to get the roasted porkie pie and shove it in Mr. Roger?s computer air extraction fan hole which caused the computer to squirt liquefied warez CDs on him. His iBook then opened up to reveal 746, quite horrifically, version of Windows XP which was secretly Mac OS X!!! The secret of Mac OS X was that is had an improved 2 Bit GUI and the 640x480 resolution, that had crashed my toilet seat which was covered and dirty with a piece of dead chickens leg. But then the chicken wanted the piece back and attacked, using his pecker method, on the legs of Bill Gates so Bill Gates drank some Nyquil and invented a DVD player in a toilet seat so the chicken could watch his old episodes of Bevis and Butthead. Back at the ranch, the farmer was filming animals raping his wife with a wireless digicam made by Ralph while he was picking his neighbour?s eye. His neighbour then known as Bob IBM took their cows that Dell stole from Gateway Jones and hid them under a pot of Marijuana with marijuana smelling ass beer. Good monkeys, bears and pretty looking cows attacked Bill Gates in an effort to discontinue Windows from stealing Third Party coding to his small penis which talks sunglasses ?queef narf? but only one word explained the power of love. Anyway, the chicken went to the store to purchase a can of fartspray for $1.99 so that he can spray on the farmer for only giving him 2 buckets of seeds, then the chicken crossed the road. Why did Bill Gates cross the road? Because his dick was stuck in the chicken?s ass but Bill could not notice it because he was too busy writing cheques to Sun Microsystems. He only wrote those cheques so to silence Sun Microsystems, as they saw his dick up the chicken?s ass but he couldn?t delete the database records. Then Bill decided that he needed to go buy an iMac but he could not figure out how to use it so he bought a Fisher Price PC instead while Sun Microsystems hack into Microsoft?s server with the toothpicks they found at the homosexual bar that Bill flagrants at, so he went home and decided to poke his finger in the leftover pizza he had. He then licked his finger clean after 7 years of not washing it so he tickled his pickle until he was all tickled out and then he slept. All the way across the world he finally removed the chicken from his penis and stuck an emu?s head up his arse. He has such a thrill that he said ?whatcha gonna do now that the chicken lost his playmate?? the man asked. I?m not going to do strange things with my copy of Mac OS X but I don?t want to die! So the man that ate the grilled cheese sandwich coked on something really watery and he said once again ?Chicken for dinner?. He spoke those words, deja-vu again as he tripped over a grenade. It was a powerful grenade, a tactical nuke in fact. It blew the **** right out his cracked CD. One day, Heinrich-X bitched about the word **** because his kids go on Neowin so Heinrich-X killed Bill Gates and went on to take over the world, except Bill Gates was actually a robot with an oedipus complex for his mother Rosie, the maid from the jetsons, who was a borg who seemed to be ignored by everyone!

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Deryck

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Chapter 4 (unfinished)

The day after Apple went bankrupt they tried to make a good product for Paul McCartney called ?Michael Jackson? which would steal his files and not give them back because Howard Stern smuggled crack cocaine to Moncton to visit the new Microsoft dump of bad software, which had long overflowed and now threatened to overrun the world. Since webgraph was 100,000,000,000 light years away from Earth (and 3nd3r was also 100,000,000,000 light years away from Earth eating Cheetohs and watching cheap pornos with Bill Gates and Silvergold), at Pam Anderson's house while transvestite Tommy Lee gave Pam hepatits C, Marisu found the cure for cancer, so Heinrich-X was ran over by Toonces, the cat that could drive a car, but Toonces was drunk and it hit him so bad that 3nd3r appeared sober with a bottle of gin in his hand and a box of condoms XP on top of her nipples covered in cream and a heatsink covered in spermicide, with a toothbrush retracting out of the nipples of a fine Chinese pug which of German hugendoffs. Tandori chicken with curry or was that curdled possibly t-bone steak? A monster came and destroyed the Earth, killing everyone on it, including everyone in this story and the monster itself. But a man dressed in a frock came and called upon thousands of fish to transwarp the Earth from an alternate dimensional plain to the regular one. www..com appeared on www.f***edcompany.com then becam Sun Inferiosystems. Pyro and Bill Gates? body, along with eating some haggis flavoured spermicide and condoms, every once in a while, make great balloon giraffes with strawberry flavour legs and raspberry heads but don't forget the giraffes anatomy is indeed very complicated. Gill Bates and Jeeve Stobs knew that a monkey would eat its genitalia along with Cave Stese's and Ellirry Lason's pet parrot called Beve Sallmer

who lookedhimself again when he founded Apple, after he found that there was a world outside his programming room so he began walking around in "The real World" until he got lost and he lost and became thinner until hehe...

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Deryck

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My mind became wrapped when I had read this and had to be saved by reading real fiction novels to retain my English skills and to save my imagination!!! Was funny but is getting boring now.

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mariusu

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maybe we should finish at least the 4th chapter. i must say this is one of the coolest threads here at neowin, it's very spontan and many users are contributing to it. it makes me laugh even in a bad day, and that's why i like this thread so much.

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Osiris

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Yer this thread is sweetness.

I say start chapter 5.

lol damn thats a funny chapter 4, most of it made sense, and quite alot of imagination there.

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