Dark Ride Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 I was eating a bag of Cheetos the other day, when I noticed the claim that they are "dangerously cheesy." I chewed carefully, trying to figure out exactly what was so dangerous about the cheese flavor. I don't know if you've ever tried a 2002 French-aged Roquefort, but that's some dangerous cheese flavor. That cheese tastes like it was ripened in the asscrack of a mule. I made the following prank call to Frito-Lay to try to clarify what they meant. FRITO-LAY: Thank you for calling Frito-Lay, this is Alice. How may I help you? JOHN HARGRAVE: Hi. I was eating a bag of your Puffed Cheetos the other day, and I noticed that you say they are "dangerously cheesy." FL: Uh-huh. JH: I have a six-year-old daughter, and I'm worried about her eating something dangerous. FL: [Chuckle] That's, uh, that's an advertisement. Our marketing department thought it was catchy. Cheetos are not threatening, or dangerous, at all. JH: Do they contain shards of glass? FL: No. By "dangerously cheesy," we just mean they are very cheesy. JH: Do Cheetos cause cancer? FL: No. Rest assured, you have nothing to worry about. JH: Will they explode in your mouth? FL: No. JH: So they don't explode with cheesy flavor? FL: [Pause] Is there anything else I can help you with today? JH: It's just that "dangerous" is such a dangerous-sounding word. FL: Sir, it's just an advertisement. JH: So you're advertising that your product is dangerous? FL: No, no. If it was dangerous, the FDA wouldn't allow us to keep the product on the market. We follow all FDA regulations. JH: Okay. You're absolutely sure your Cheetos are safe to eat? FL: Yes sir. JH: Even if my daughter is extremely allergic to cheese? FL: OK, then, yeah. I wouldn't recommend you give her that product. JH: One bite and she goes into anaphylactic shock. Do you know what that is? FL: No. What is that? JH: She can die in three hours if we don't get her to a hospital. FL: OK, well this is a cheese product, ma'am. I recommend you don't give her that. JH: So they are dangerous? FL: They're not dangerous. [Flustered] They're not dangerous. If she's allergic to cheese, she could get sick from that. But they're not dangerous. JH: I really wish you'd make up your mind. Your packaging says it's dangerous, then you tell me it's not, then you tell me it is. FL: I never said it was dangerous. You're misleading the conversation. You just shouldn't give it to her if she's allergic to cheese. We have patients that are allergic to gluten. They shouldn't eat any of our products that contain gluten. JH: It just seems like there's a little confusion over there at Frito-Lay on whether it's dangerous or not. FL: No, it's not a dangerous product. If it was dangerous, it wouldn't be sold to consumers. JH: Well, I would also think it wouldn't say the word "dangerous" on the front. FL: It's, it's ... it's all advertisement. It's just another way of saying they're extremely cheesy. JH: You wouldn't say "fatally cheesy." Because people might think that you'd die. FL: Okay, I'll pass all this along to our marketing department. JH: I'd appreciate that. I mean, why not just call them "deadly cheesy"? FL: Sir, I understand this is a problem FOR YOU. I will be sure to pass your comments along. JH: "Asphyxiatingly cheesy"? FL: There's nothing I can do on my end as far as you feeling that way. But I'll be sure to document this call. Thank you for calling Frito-Lay! JH: Hang on Alice. One second. I've got another call coming in. Can you hang on? FL: Okay. JH: I'm sorry, that was the doctor on the other line. It was the allergist. We just got my daughter's allergy tests back, and good news. She's not allergic to cheese after all. FL: Okay. Well then, it's up to you whether you want to give the product to her or not. JH: Great, so they're not dangerous? FL: No. JH: He said she was allergic to something called gluten? FL: OK. [At the end of her rope] OK. All right, well, you may not want to give this product to her then. JH: You're really flip-flopping on me here, Alice. FL: I'll be sure to pass your comments along. Thank you for calling Frito-Lay, and you have a good day. [Hangs up on me] You have to admit, it's a pretty cheesy ad slogan. I guess in that sense, the product really is dangerously cheesy. Source: Link Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
soppychunk Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 haha, pretty decent. one thing, the frito-lay person adresses the caller as "ma'am" yet the caller's name is John? hmm.... Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240743 Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollinup Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Haha, awsome (Y) (Y) (Y) Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240760 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandon Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 haha, pretty decent.one thing, the frito-lay person adresses the caller as "ma'am" yet the caller's name is John? hmm.... 586240743[/snapback] i get that too.. like when i was on with logitech.. he calles mam Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240747 Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Jorge Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Heh, that was pretty good. (Y) Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240766 Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostShell Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 lol nice one. :p Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240837 Share on other sites More sharing options...
thechitowncubs Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 heh Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240825 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damrock2002 Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 That screwed her up. Feed the daughter the cheetos and sue them (not really). Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240942 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doli Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 ""dangerous" is such a dangerous-sounding word." I have to use that someday, good one Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240952 Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnimeUSA Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Nice, we need to put an end to that type of marketing. Maddox's thoughts on Extreme Advertising Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240966 Share on other sites More sharing options...
m82a1 Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 i laughed my ass off LMAO Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240955 Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleDave Veteran Posted July 20, 2005 Veteran Share Posted July 20, 2005 :rofl: the ending was classic, puts down the phone and says oh shes not allergic to cheese shes allergic to gluten! Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240982 Share on other sites More sharing options...
bob_loblaw Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 lol, that was halarious. :laugh: :laugh: Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586240990 Share on other sites More sharing options...
-hurley18 Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 lol Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586241009 Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawai Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 :rofl: the ending was classic, puts down the phone and says oh shes not allergic to cheese shes allergic to gluten! 586240982[/snapback] actually i don't think she would mind at all, you basically just sit there and wait whereas if you hang up right away she would have to answer another call from a moron like him. win win situation for her, waste of time for the other guy Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586241016 Share on other sites More sharing options...
parad0x Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Heh.. this reminds me of when Cheetos used to have a money back guarantee (they called it a "guarancheese") printed on their packages that said if you didn't find the product "dangerously cheesy" you could send back the empty bag and get a full refund.. so I wrote up a quick letter saying I didn't feel endangered at any point during my consumption of the product, and would therefore like my money back. A couple weeks later, I got a letter and a cheque in the mail :) Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586241025 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Echilon Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 :laugh: Reminds me of the nintendo prank. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586241784 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ford.red Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 lol Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586241815 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sensayshun Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 Made my miserable day slightly better. In physics :( Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586241814 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin-uk Veteran Posted July 20, 2005 Veteran Share Posted July 20, 2005 LMAO :rofl: that was great :laugh: Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586241849 Share on other sites More sharing options...
intransit Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 har.....har...... sorry...but...lame. could've done so much more with that oh & sympathy for the Fritos Help Desk worker... i wonder how many times shes copped that exact prank before. It even looked to me from the transcript like she had already had experience with this particular complaint. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586242102 Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdsams Veteran Posted July 20, 2005 Veteran Share Posted July 20, 2005 i liked it (Y) best one i ever heard was when someone called the company that makes KY and has them explain what the product is used for....then they were like , is this legal?..ill have to see if i can find that again Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586242160 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimRogers Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 LOL, the lass was probably thinking that you had mental issues :rofl: Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586242831 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shane Pitman Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 FL: I never said it was dangerous. You're misleading the conversation. You just shouldn't give it to her if she's allergic to cheese. We have patients that are allergic to gluten. They shouldn't eat any of our products that contain gluten. Frito-Lay thinks of their customers as "patients"? That's kind of, unsettling. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586242853 Share on other sites More sharing options...
gdodson Posted July 20, 2005 Share Posted July 20, 2005 I don't know if you've ever tried a 2002 French-aged Roquefort, but that's some dangerous cheese flavor. That cheese tastes like it was ripened in the asscrack of a mule. That made me laugh so hard. The rest was really funny too. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/346609-prank-call-to-cheetos/#findComment-586242914 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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