DreAming in DigITal Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 College Football is back........ (1) What does the average Univ. of Michigan player get on his SATs? .........Drool. (2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room? ..........A full set of teeth. (3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room? .........Grease her hips and push. (4) How do you get a Florida State graduate off your porch? ..........Pay him for the pizza. (5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend? .........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup. (6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum? .....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road. (7) What are the longest three years of a Miami (Fla) football player's life? ..........His freshman year. (8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb? ..........None. That's a sophomore course. (9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco? ......... Durham, North Carolina . He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner. AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....) (10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color? .........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week. :laugh: :rofl: Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aaron Veteran Posted September 29, 2005 Veteran Share Posted September 29, 2005 Those are great ones, and most can be substituted with the rival of your choice. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586594368 Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbluepride35 Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 Those were great :laugh: :rofl:! Where'd you get them from? Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586594363 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreAming in DigITal Posted September 29, 2005 Author Share Posted September 29, 2005 haha thanks guys...Actually my mom (big VT fan) just sent them to me a few minutes ago :) Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586594379 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gfunk4life Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 why did she pick West Virginia :whistle:, but funny Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586596148 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hupp Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 lol nice... damn are fat nebraska cheerleaders.. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586596410 Share on other sites More sharing options...
fels Posted September 29, 2005 Share Posted September 29, 2005 Lmao. Awesome. :rofl: Except the fat Nebraska cheerleaders one :angry: Homegrown cornfed babes. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586596419 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreAming in DigITal Posted September 29, 2005 Author Share Posted September 29, 2005 /\ haha...yea I think there are some good ones for any college :D . Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586596588 Share on other sites More sharing options...
BroChaos Veteran Posted September 29, 2005 Veteran Share Posted September 29, 2005 hey, we could crack a lot of jokes about vatech! :p very funny though. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586596584 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreAming in DigITal Posted September 30, 2005 Author Share Posted September 30, 2005 In honor of the Va Tech game at WVU I thought I would share these: Why did WVU rise in the rankings this week? ....The sportswriters and coaches considered "BYE" as tougher than any other opponent WVU has faced. How do you make Wahoo cookies? ....Put them in a big bowl and beat for 3 hours. Why doesn't WVU have ice on the sidelines? ....The guy with the recipe graduated last year. What do you get when you drive slowly by the WVU campus? ....A degree. Why is it that the WVU football teams doesn't have a web site? ...They can't sting three "W's" together. Recently, A WVU football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident. ....He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it. Johnny says to his Mother: "I want to be a Mountaineer when I grow up". ...Mom says: But Johnny, you can't do both. What is the difference between a Mountaineer and Rice Crispies? ....Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl. Why don't Mountaineers let their kids play in sand boxes? ....Because the cats keep covering them up. Why do Mountaineers keep their diplomas on their dashboards? ....So they can park in handicap spaces. What is Blue, Gold, 100 yards wide, and has 2 teeth? ....The front row at Mountaineer Stadium. What do you call an attractvie girl on the WVU campus? ....A Visitor. What did the WVU graduate say to the VT grad upon meeting? ....Hi! Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order please? Did you hear about the power outage at the WVU library? ....Forty Mountaineers were stuck on the escalator for three hours! Did you hear about the fire in the WVU library that destroyed all the books? ....The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet. What do a WVU student and a Va Tech student have in common? ...They both got accepted to WVU. :laugh: :rofl: Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586598523 Share on other sites More sharing options...
alfador Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Did you hear about the last time the chokies came to Morgantown? ....This is what happened. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586598551 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreAming in DigITal Posted September 30, 2005 Author Share Posted September 30, 2005 /\ haha yea we got punched in the lip...I can't wait till saturday though. It's going to be a head knocker. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586598894 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chad Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 threads merged WVU nor VT deserve their own joke thread ;) And we already have the first going with the same topic. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586599019 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreAming in DigITal Posted September 30, 2005 Author Share Posted September 30, 2005 /\ Thanks Chad :) Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586599890 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoneblitz61 Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 Unfortunately I will be at drill and not able to see the WVU vs VT game being held 5 minutes from my apartment :cry: but thanks for rubbing it in :angry: Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586599926 Share on other sites More sharing options...
stncttr908 Veteran Posted September 30, 2005 Veteran Share Posted September 30, 2005 Oh man, for your sake I hope the Mountaineers don't beat your boys this weekend. I don't think you have much to fear though. :D Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586600171 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreAming in DigITal Posted September 30, 2005 Author Share Posted September 30, 2005 /\ haha I hope not...I have alot of close friends who graduated from WVU and they would rub it in really good. I love a good WVU/Tech game...they're usually really good games. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586600194 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexus Posted September 30, 2005 Share Posted September 30, 2005 LMAO. I;ve ner heard any of those before Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586600201 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreAming in DigITal Posted October 7, 2005 Author Share Posted October 7, 2005 I just got another one.... UVA football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head Coach Al Groh immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586635099 Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigbluepride35 Posted October 7, 2005 Share Posted October 7, 2005 :laugh: :rofl: THAT was great. And didn't even need to go beyond the team itself. Great stuff man. Keep 'em coming as you get 'em. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586635131 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreAming in DigITal Posted October 7, 2005 Author Share Posted October 7, 2005 haha alright 3 more and I'm going to bed.... George Welsh, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded UVA flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, George," said God. "This is very special - not everyone gets a house up here." George felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Burgundy and Orange sidewalk, 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Virginia Tech logo flag, and in every window, VT curtains. George looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a darn good coach, I won several bowl games, and I even went to the College Football Hall of Fame." God said, "So what do you want to know, George?" "Well, why does Frank Beamer get a better house than me?" God chuckled and said, "George, that's not Frank Beamer's house...... It's mine." What's the difference between a Michigan fan and a carp? - One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish. Virginia Tech is playing at UVA, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. A UVA fan sets off a firecracker, and Virginia Tech, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field. - Three plays later,UVA punts. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/#findComment-586635177 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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