How to clean feces (YES, FECES) off a motherboard


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Owned. My question is, how did the toddler crap on the motherboard if there was a bag over it?

EDIT: I wonder how many pages this thread will become..

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read the original post, he said he put in on a bag not in a bag.

yea i wanna know how this turned out eww.

Actually, the guy who mentioned an air can to blow it away is thinking on the right track.

You need to get that air can with the compressed air. But instead of using the air component, you need to use the Tetrafluoroethane component (the liquid inside the can).

That will freeze your poop and it should fall right off.

Instead of using the can right side up you use it upside down and the liquid should spray out.

its not gonna get that cold, it will be cooler, but not freezing, I know the expansion of the liquid turning into gas absorbs energy, but not enough comeing from a can, you'd need a big compressor, like the phase change cooling units use.

The Turd Had Fallen 2: The Fix

Man enters room smiling happily. He's carrying a bag.

He pulls from the bag a can of air and sits it on the desk.

He signs into Neowin and looks at the messages left. He reads the message by Tokar:

Actually, the guy who mentioned an air can to blow it away is thinking on the right track.

You need to get that air can with the compressed air. But instead of using the air component, you need to use the Tetrafluoroethane component (the liquid inside the can).

That will freeze your poop and it should fall right off.

Instead of using the can right side up you use it upside down and the liquid should spray out.

When the man was reading the board, he didn't notice the baby had grabbed the can of air and shook it and sat it back on the table.

Man grabs the can

MAN: Wow....why'd that get cold?

The man shakes the confused look off his face and grabs the motherboard.

He holds the can upside down and and squeezes the trigger.

BAM!!!

From the pressure built up from when the baby shook the can, the nozzle goes flying off and straight through the motherboard. Creating a large hole in the motherboard.

The man looks through the hole and sees the baby on the other side laughing at him.

The man cries and throws the motherboard out the window

FADE TO BLACK

The End

Edited by halloween_david

I would change the ending to:

can explodes and a burst of freezing expanding liquid is shot directly on him (his private parts I mean) and are frozen solid in less than a second...

the cap was expelled with so much force, that it bounced off the floor and ricoched into his little brother, killing him instantly...

the explosion was so powerfull, that all the feces from the motherboard was blown away....

open shot: dead kid, man trying to unfreeze his colonel, and a clean mobo....

its not gonna get that cold, it will be cooler, but not freezing, I know the expansion of the liquid turning into gas absorbs energy, but not enough comeing from a can, you'd need a big compressor,  like the phase change cooling units use.

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Yes it will get cold enough to freeze. I know someone who had it sprayed it on their arm long enough to get frostbite.

Instead of the guy just throwing it out the window and crying, I was actually going to have him just jump out the window. I thought it was too dark though LOL

OK here's another

Man looks through hole to see the baby laughing.

Man throws motherboard and jumps at the baby.

In Matrix-Style slow motion, the baby jumps up and does a flying roundhouse. Kicking the guy right in the head.

The man flies across the room, smacking the wall.

He looks at the baby

Baby reaches behind his back into his diaper.

The man gets a scared look on his face. Suddenly a large chunk of baby poo smacks him in the face.

Baby laughing in background

FADE TO BLACK

The End

Yes it will get cold enough to freeze. I know someone who had it sprayed it on their arm long enough to get frostbite.

My mom was on oxygen for a while last year and they brought a large liquid oxygen tank to keep at the house to fill her portable tank. She was nervous about filling her tanks with it so I'd do it for her.

Did it, I don't know how many times. One time went to pull the handle down on the tank to start filling it and the liquid oxygen sprayed all over. Got some on my hand. Talk about freaking cold :no:

And yeah, the can of air stuff can get really cold. Dropped mine once and picked it up and man that thing got cold quick. I just threw it on the couch. Hand felt burnt for about 20 minutes. Wasn't as bad as that liquid oxygen though. Glad she doesn't have that anymore :yes:

Actually, the guy who mentioned an air can to blow it away is thinking on the right track.

You need to get that air can with the compressed air.  But instead of using the air component, you need to use the Tetrafluoroethane component (the liquid inside the can).

That will freeze your poop and it should fall right off.

Instead of using the can right side up you use it upside down and the liquid should spray out.

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problem with that though is that adding a liquid to something that is currently dry is just going to make it moist again and it only will stay frozen for a few seconds... like less than a minute probably, before it thaws back into a now slightly moise doody mess.

LOL, this is life's way of saying "You should have gone with DFI" :p Ina ny case, I'd like to know the real ending of this story...But since we're all making funny stories, I thought I'd do one as well:

Man walks into room, with his new mobo in his hands...The baby is lurking in the corner, sitting on a chair with his legs crossed. He contemplates the new motherboard, apparently perplexed that the man had ventured and gotten a new one. The baby, with ample consternation showing in his face, tries his best to convey a simple thought with his limited vocabulary. He asks "DFI?", as if wondering wether the man had wisened up and gotten one. When the man simply answers (after the surprise of hearing the baby speak) "No, Asus again...". The baby merely looks down, sighs, and shakes his head a bit. So he just stands up, taking short but steady steps towards the man. His demeanor is decieving: the man thought he was going to be hugged by the baby. Instead, the baby just opens his mouth, and lets out an astonishingly powerful stream of vomit, aimed directly at the new motherboard. In the midst of this chaos, the man could have sworn he heard the baby yell "DFI PWNS YOU!", but there was no way to be sure. Instead, the man took his vomit-infested motherboard in his equally putrid-smelling hands, and proceeded to jump out of a window. The baby watches the man falling, motherboard in hand, with a smile on his face.

I dont have the imagination to come up with such awesome screenwrites as these, but I have to add that this has been the funniest thread on neowin and I think its a testament to the genius and creativity of I.T. people.....

Thanks for the laughs :D

I think you should phone up the company and just say "I lef the room for 5 mintues to go get some tools I needed and came back to find a turd on my motherboard, if I send it back can you replace it?"

This is the funniest thread ever, I spat my drink out reading it, :laugh:

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