py20 Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 As some of you may know, Australia has started requiring those wanting to migrate to Australia to pass a citizenship test. Here are some practice questions: 1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the origin of, the term ?died in the a*se?? ___________________________________ 2. What is a ?bloody little beauty?? ___________________________________ 3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey? ___________________________________ 4. Explain the following passage: ?In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.? __________________________________ 5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash? ___________________________ 6. Complete the following sentences: a) ?If the van?s rockin? don?t bother ... b) You?re going home in the back of a ... c) Fair crack of the ... _________________________________ 7. I?ve had a gutful and I can?t be fagged. Discuss __________________________________ 8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie? __________________________________ 9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard ?up on blocks?? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called Cheryl? __________________________________ 10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming? __________________________________ 11. What are the ingredients in a rissole? __________________________________ 12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam. __________________________________ 13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and sounds like a bloke? __________________________________ 14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else?s beer that has been flogged from a bath full of ice? __________________________________ 15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people?s meat or are you only allowed to eat your own? __________________________________ 16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter ?b? is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot? __________________________________ 17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots? __________________________________ 18. Is it possible to ?prang a car? while doing ?circle work?? __________________________________ 19. Who would you like to crack on to? __________________________________ 20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin ?Bloody? Wilson, John ?True Blue? Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie? __________________________________ 21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool? _________________________________ 22. What does ?sinkin p*ss at a mates joint and getten para? mean? _________________________________ You may copy your mates answers, but you must have a pass rate of 50% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Lyle Global Moderator Posted October 2, 2007 Global Moderator Share Posted October 2, 2007 maybe i need to be Australian to understand? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perochan Posted October 2, 2007 Share Posted October 2, 2007 wtf? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choppingman Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 yes, you do need to be Australian to understand this. I tried to imagine someone elses perspective reading this and most people outside of Aus would not get this at all. Anyway, I lol'd at most of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CloudEngineer Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 rofl i could add a few more to that but these dunderheads wouldn't get any of it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
:: Lyon :: Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 err I live in Australia for 10 years but don't understand most of the jokes :( Guess I'll never pass a citizenship test..lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corona Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 err I live in Australia for 10 years but don't understand most of the jokes :( Guess I'll never pass a citizenship test..lol lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xfodder Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 err I live in Australia for 10 years but don't understand most of the jokes :( Guess I'll never pass a citizenship test..lol i don't think these questions are the actual test questions! i loled when i read number 4 that basically sums up every christmas ive ever had! there are a questions that should be in there ... What 5 letter word beginning with B which is used to describe an australian male? What 6 letter word beginning with S which is used to describe an australian female? List 3 ways of spotting a 'drongo' On the subject of the whole 'Australian Citizenship Test' ... i think most australians would fail it ... we don't give two ****s about a bloody test to live in a country! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattrobs Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 That's a little too "Australian" even for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raa Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 I love 'em!! great stuff, they cracked me up! Now chuck us another carton of p*ss mate!!!! Jokes ^_^ :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jase Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 what the hell.. this makes no sence to me :/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+BeLGaRaTh Subscriber¹ Posted October 3, 2007 Subscriber¹ Share Posted October 3, 2007 I applied for citizenship of Australia once. One of the questions was "Do you have a criminal record", I answered "I didn't think it was still necessary". I never heard anything back from that, strange ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snyper Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Haaaooowz about i put another shrip on the barby maate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phunkymunky Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Haaaooowz about i put another shrip on the barby maate? Wrong country dude! They're prawns down here. That test is a crack up! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mattrobs Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 Haaaooowz about i put another shrip on the barby maate? Wrong country dude! They're prawns down here. Paul Hogan actually said "shrimp", but just because they thought tourists wouldn't know what a "prawn" was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Panacik Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 I understand it all. However i doubt most Australians talk like this. I read an artical that Australians are loosing their accents and are starting to sound more British now. I must admit, sometimes some of the Ausies i know, its hard to hear their accent at all and they could almost pass for a British person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snyper Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 An englishman wants to marry an irish girl and is told he needs to become irish before he can do so. It is a very simple operation where they remove 5% of your brain. Anyway the englishman wakes up after the operation and the doctor comes up to him looking all worried and say "I am terribly sorry, theres been a mistake to be sure, we accidently removed 50% of your brain instead of 5%!" The englishman sits up and simply say "G'day Sport, She'll be right, mate" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kronik Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 I too rofled at most of them, good find mate! For those living outside Australia, this topic has been in heated discussion here in Aussie, and jokes about it have been all over the media, funny seeing it on Neowin though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EddieS Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 that was pretty good Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xerino Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 "WTF" Award For Excellence in achieving a post / thread that makes no sense whatsoever. Being able to accomplish total confusion, Brain melt, and members requesting 30 seconds back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
py20 Posted October 3, 2007 Author Share Posted October 3, 2007 I understand it all. However i doubt most Australians talk like this. That?s a good point, most Australians don't actually talk like this but most use some parts in everyday language. "Hang a U-ey" or "Chuck a U-bolt" when driving. I got home last night and my dad was cooking sausages, I said, "Oh your cooking a few snags, yum". The way Australians talk varies, "Aussie Bogans" (see http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bogan) may use slang a lot more than some other business people who work in an office job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samboini Posted October 3, 2007 Share Posted October 3, 2007 I UK. I get it. (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phunkymunky Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 Wrong country dude! They're prawns down here.Paul Hogan actually said "shrimp", but just because they thought tourists wouldn't know what a "prawn" was. I still stand by my wrong country comment. The ad wasn't made for Aussies, and was never really aired on TV in Oz. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pc_Madness Posted October 4, 2007 Share Posted October 4, 2007 I understand it all.. but I fail to see how its funny.. :\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leoboy Posted October 5, 2007 Share Posted October 5, 2007 I understand it all. However i doubt most Australians talk like this.I read an artical that Australians are loosing their accents and are starting to sound more British now. I must admit, sometimes some of the Ausies i know, its hard to hear their accent at all and they could almost pass for a British person. Agree with you Soon all of us become still similar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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