jnelsoninjax Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads. 7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. 10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HawkMan Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Imagine this, a 15 year old joke (at leats ). and it's still stupid... and not funny. oh and FYI, on any car, you use the Star "key" to shut the car down as well :p just like you start a shutdown procedure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farstrider Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Sorry Jonathan, but this is really, really old, still pretty funny but, really old! Excuse me that I am harping on the "old" thing, but I would be surprised if most have not seen or heard this yet! ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshalus Veteran Posted August 16, 2008 Veteran Share Posted August 16, 2008 This joke is only 10+ years old ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raa Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 This joke is a setup for a FAIL thread :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
x-scratch Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 wasnt funny & never heard it before Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zape Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 This joke is a setup for a FAIL thread :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightwind Hawk Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Nah guys, don't be hard on the joke! It WAS funny in the Win95/98 days because many of those things were so true! They aren't anymore.. but it's an older joke :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoneAvail Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 It's my first time hearing this joke and ehh, most of the stuff doesn't contrast with what Windows is today, so it gets a 5 out of a 10. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HawkMan Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 It's my first time hearing this joke and ehh, most of the stuff doesn't contrast with what Windows is today, so it gets a 5 out of a 10. really... care to point them out ? this ought to be interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raa Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 I think he meant "doesn't compare" :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rahul Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 still makes me smirk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrChainsaw Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Old but still funny, number 9 is so true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neufuse Veteran Posted August 16, 2008 Veteran Share Posted August 16, 2008 Good greif these jokes are getting old... and if Apple made car's it would come only in two colors, black for the poorer rich and polished titanium metal for the ultra rich and only the 10 richest kings can afford them... and when you turned the car on it makes the Mac startup sound.... and your headlights project a apple symbol onto the road... and your GPS system is so great it knows where you are going before you get in the car but it is only controlled by one button "go" and it has a macbook dock in the dashboard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaveAlmighty Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 This joke is a setup for a FAIL thread :p But it's not fail! It's just old. Still a nice read, good to have an occasional re-post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HawkMan Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 it was fail before fail was invented Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaun N. Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 Jonathan, did you just search google and then copy and paste jokes in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadgeek9 Posted August 18, 2008 Share Posted August 18, 2008 This joke is from what? The Windows 95 days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paganinio Posted August 20, 2008 Share Posted August 20, 2008 have to say, when I learn it's for Windows 95, I acknowledge this joke as being excellent. Another good joke from Comedian Jonathan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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