tajul Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished. 9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you. 8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning your call. 7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets. 6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money. 5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message. 4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner. 3. Hi. Now YOU say something. 2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you. And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified by The World Famous International Institute of Answering MachineMessages. 1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightwind Hawk Posted May 15, 2010 Share Posted May 15, 2010 I got a chuckle out of #7 :) Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/#findComment-592626058 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MulletRobZ Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 #6 was awesome! As for the funniest I heard, it was from a friend in college. His said, "This is (name omitted). Leave a damn message!" Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/#findComment-592628714 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hot Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 I'm quite fond of "What do you want, you son of a... *beep*" Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/#findComment-592628732 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Growled Member Posted May 16, 2010 Member Share Posted May 16, 2010 Those are awesome. :D Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/#findComment-592628742 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanoru Posted May 16, 2010 Share Posted May 16, 2010 No. 2 was the best. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/#findComment-592628904 Share on other sites More sharing options...
stephenm17 Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 these are awesome Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/#findComment-592647354 Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleNeutrino Veteran Posted May 20, 2010 Veteran Share Posted May 20, 2010 Number 7 is my favorite. Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/#findComment-592647374 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sulphy Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 hehehe...! some good ones there! :) Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/#findComment-592647386 Share on other sites More sharing options...
e-berlin.org Posted May 20, 2010 Share Posted May 20, 2010 LOL @ #7 and #3 Link to comment https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/901352-joke-10-best-answering-machine-messages/#findComment-592647438 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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