[Joke] 10 Best Answering Machine Messages..

[tajul]

10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave

your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving

messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a tub, and their

carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don't need

their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and home

phone number and they will get back to you.

8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic

thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your

number, and your reason for calling.... and I'll think about returning

your call.

7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.

Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one

of these magnets.

6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the

money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you

didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If

you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of money.

5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're

not here. So, leave a message.

4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a

"sexy" message, I'll call sooner.

3. Hi. Now YOU say something.

2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave

me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and Verified

by The World Famous International Institute of Answering

MachineMessages.

1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right

now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it

up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave

a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.

[Nightwind Hawk]

I got a chuckle out of #7 :)

[MulletRobZ]

#6 was awesome!

As for the funniest I heard, it was from a friend in college. His said, "This is (name omitted). Leave a damn message!"

[Hot]

I'm quite fond of "What do you want, you son of a... *beep*"

[Growled Member]

Those are awesome. :D

[Tanoru]

No. 2 was the best.

[stephenm17]

these are awesome

[LittleNeutrino Veteran]

Number 7 is my favorite.

[Sulphy]

hehehe...! some good ones there! :)

[e-berlin.org]

LOL @ #7 and #3