194 diferent types of customers...

[EmuZombie Veteran]

Source: http://www.customerssuck.com

1. The "I Forgot" Customer - The type who comes into the store and buys a total of $100.00 in merchandise then says she forgot her 10 dollar allowable store coupon and she won't be back within the 7 day grace period to get an adjustment because she lives so far away. So you give her an adjustment of 10 dollars and then she returns the items within 7 days. So now the store is out 10 dollars, can't resale the returned merchandise because it was worn, and the customer thinks they are right.

2. The "Backstage Pass" Customer - The type that thinks he's allowed to go into employee?s only sections and then plays it off when he gets caught by saying, "I was looking for the bathroom."

3. The "Demolition" Customer - The type of customer that takes their shopping cart and drives it exactly like they're in a demolition derby. Hitting displays, people and other shopping carts as they race their way through the store.

4. The "Scene" Customer - The type of customer that needs to make a scene every time they come into your store. Whether it is by yelling at the manager, employees or just belting their kid in the middle of the store.

5. The "Out of Everything" Customer - This breed of customer isn't always a pain, only when they get ****ed off. These customers are the types that come in and for some reason 90% of all the things they are looking for are out of stock.

6. The "Coupon" Customer - A customer that always comes up to the register with a hand bag full of coupons and has to dig through this bag every time they come into your store.

7. The "Grubby Hand" Customer - These customers always come into your store with hands so dirty you'd swear they were just playing with horse crap. Then they end up getting the crud all over your hands in the process of giving you their money.

8. The "I swear I bought it like this" Customer - This customer will bring back a jacket with a huge stain from food, barf, etc... on the front of it and swears that he bought it like that when you refuse to take it back. Then he asks for the manager and, when the manager refuses to take it back, walks out of the store shouting that he is never going to shop there again, like we care.

9. The "Typhoid Mary" Customer - Despite presence of highly infectious disease(s), still feels it necessary to violate their quarantine and unleash whatever plague it is they happen to be carrying upon the hapless retail employee. Most often by coughing directly onto money, or cutting to the chase and coughing directly in a clerk?s face.

10. The "Innocent" Customer - This is the kind of customer who gets caught stealing or doing something else they should not be doing, like masturbating in the fitting rooms or trying to drive their car over the grass to avoid paying at the parking lot. When they are caught red handed by the staff AND the video camera, and their stolen items fall out of their jacket onto the floor in front of everybody, they STILL maintain their innocence and act offended at the accusation. They even go as far as to accuse the staff of framing them, by "planting" the items on them. Yeah, here at _______ we like to devise covert methods of framing total strangers! Face it already. You're busted, don't humiliate yourself even more by claiming those CDs were in your panty hose when you came in.

11. The "Let's see what will happen" Customer - This is a customer who for some unknown reason will place their credit card, money, coupons, etc. on the movable belt at the grocery store check out. When the aforementioned articles disappear at the gap at the end of the belt --- They stand and wonder why you did that?

12. The "Back When" Customer - They are the type of customer that always has a problem with the way the store is running, it's prices, etc. They constantly have to use phrases like. "When the old owner ran this place," and "Last year you didn't run the store like this and you shouldn't change it"

13. The "Coma" Customer - They come into your store and look like they've been in a coma for 10 or so years. Wearing clothing that is too many sizes too small so their beer belly hangs out or they're wearing spandex pants that can barely hold in the cottage cheese on their legs.

14. The "8+3+1+7+23+2+4+1+6=12 items" Customer - The type of customer that somehow has mathematically figured out that even though they have a shopping cart loaded with stuff they still qualify to use the express line. Thus bringing the line to a complete halt while ring up their 203 items.

15. The "Need a Closer Look" Customer - The type of customer that always barges their way behind the counter because they can't see a certain product on the shelf. However, when it comes to those newest scratch tickets they can spot them a mile away.

16. The "My Brother/Sister" Customer - The type of customer who assumes that because you are either the same race, from the same part of town, etc. as they are, you'll give them some kind of discount.

17. The "My Baby Is Teething" Customer - This is the customer who lets their young child suck on anything they can get their hands since it's too much of a hassle to bring in a pacifier. Then they hand it to you at the register without wiping it off so that you can get baby slobber all over your hands. More often than not, they're giving it to you because they don't want it rather than to buy it or they picked up another one because they don't want the wet one. This is particularly bad when the kid is sucking on anything plush.

18. The "Mix it all together" Customer - This one combines different priced produce items in a single bag and then gets upset when you have to undo their "Houdini" knot to weigh and correctly charge them for their selections.

19. The "I have a bag" Customer - This one hands you a bag (?) that is so worn and flimsy and expects you to fill it with their purchases to receive the 5 cent credit. When their "bag" fails -- you are the one at fault.

20. The "Just Sampling" Customer - Makes the rounds in your store making sure to sample all of the promotional sale products (cookies, crackers, sausage, you name it) and then walk out of your store purchasing nothing. Extra points for bringing in the rest of their clan to truly make it a "night out."

21. The "That's Good Enough" Customer - The type of customer that's always short a few cents and says that's good enough. Instead of asking maybe "is it ok if I'm a few cents short?"

22. The "Donald Trump" Customer - Boasts, out loud, to a lobby full of impatient customers and bank personnel the entire balance of his savings account after the teller hands him his receipt. "Wait a minute, this say's "$75,787. and 12 cents... I deposited a LARGE check the other day - my balance should be WAY MORE than that"!

23. The "Ivana Trump" Customer - Boasts, out loud, *her* entire PORTFOLIO to a lobby of impatient customers and bank personnel when the teller charges her for a money order. "Wait just - just - a - MINUTE, young lady! I have balances EXCEEDING 100 grand on deposit with this bank, and you expect ME to pay for a MONEY ORDER"?!! (Yes, indeed - -you cheap BITCH! If you don't like it, run across the street to 7-11. They're only .79 cents there... NEXT"!)

24. The "Yuppie Kid" Customer - The type of youngster that come into your store, expect you to wait on them hand and foot, do whatever they feel like in your store etc. All because their daddy lets them drive the BMW, use their credit cards and gives them crisp new $100 bills any time they ask for money. Don't forget if they don't get their way their daddy only a cell phone call away.

25. The "I thought it would go in" Customer - TThis highly intelligent customer (I use the term loosely) wants you to put the 35 inch TV he just bought into the back seat of his Dodge Shadow and is shocked to learn it won't go in. It's even better when they get mad at you because it won't fit! "Can't you just put it in there?"

[EmuZombie Veteran]

26. The "I left my wallet in the car" Customer - This customer comes up to the register with a cartful of stuff, usually small stuff that needs to be counted and sorted etc. After you ring it all up, they realize they left their money in the car- they go to retrieve it. While you were counting out their thousand items, you managed to get a line that now stretches to the back of the store. You void out their sale and start taking the other customers. The first customer re-enters the store- and immediately gets ****ed because they have to wait in line again. When you finally wait on them, all they do is complain about how unfair the whole situation is. This customer makes me want to test drive the axes we sell in the front of the store.

27. The "Baby-factory" Customer - The type that bring their 8 kids into the store, lets them run around it wildly, and then when it comes time to go to the register harvests them and brings them through so they all begin screaming and crying for candy.

28. The "Stalker" Customer - They come in to the store and position themselves somewhere at a display (in a poor attempt to camouflage themselves) directly in front of your register, so as to get a clear view of the person they want to leer at. They come in almost every day but never buy anything, although they do make it a point to mess up your displays while they are pretending to shop. The extreme case will also hassle your co-workers for any kind of personal info. about you, since they prefer to stare at you for hours (scaring the crap out of you) rather than try talking to you.

29. The "Secret Stash" customer. Related to the "paranoid customer" - This kind of customer is convinced all the good stuff is hidden away in the back, and insists on seeing the good stuff. This goes against business, and why the heck would we hide ANY merchandise? We want to SELL things! I had one at the Lost and Found office. She lost her gloves, and after being shown all the gloves and not finding hers, she says "Is that all the gloves? Do you have anymore in back?". Sure we do, we like to keep a secret stash of stuff that people will never find.

30. The "Non-Capitalist" Customer - Honestly doesn't understand that your store is there to make money, not to cater to his/her every whim free of charge. Quite common in automotive service. Thinks that discounts are a constitutionally protected right.

31. The "Rabid Repeat" Customer - No matter how bad this customer says the service was (you guys were rude, overcharged me, burnt down my house, beat up my grandma, etc.), will be back again next week after vowing never to come back. Will freely complain about every bad thing that has happened to him while in or near your store for the past 25 years. don't loose this gem of a customer!

32. The "Piker" Customer - Comes into the store looking for the cheapest phone, boombox, etc.. Complains about the price and then doesn't buy the Extended Service Policy. Then the complain when it breaks 40 days later. I enjoy saying to them, "Sorry, you'll have to send it to the manufacturer if you didn't buy the Extended Service Policy". Then I mutter under my breath "Cheap ass."

33. The "Wandering" Customer - Can somehow stay within the same store for like hours and barely buy a thing.

34. The "Drunk "Customer - This doesn't need explaining does it?

35. The "Early Bird" Customer - Gets to the store about an hour before it's to open and wonders why we won't make an exception on letting them shop before hours.

36. The "Social Event "Customer - Kind of like the Wandering Customer, but spends hours talking to other people instead of shopping.

37. The "Can" Customer - If these idiots can even be considered customers. They never spend any money at your store. They just return all the nasty cans and bottle they find around the streets and trash cans at your place. If your state doesn't have bottle bills make sure it never does!

38. The "Now I don't have to call for change" Customer - Always come in to buy something for around $20 with a pocket loaded with change all unrolled, with pocket lint, etc. For you to take the next 3 hours counting.

39. The "Lawyer "Customer - The type of customers that seem to think he knows all the legal issues facing retail stores. Like we can't limit product amounts, We can't raise prices over a x amount in a month. We can't carry a product and not take the coupon for the product.

40. Last Minute Shopper - The type that comes in 1 minute before you close and often wonders why your booting them out of the store before they finish buying something.

41. The "Chargaholic" Customer - The type of customer that comes in with a bunch of stuff and tries to charge it and you have to go through like 15 declined cards before they get one that works.

42. The "Scratchaholic" Customer - Spend like $400 on scratch tickets, but not a one time. More like over a period of 5 hours or so where they come back up to the counter every five minutes to buy 10 more dollars until they become horribly annoying.

43. The "I'm calling from Connecticut, have a hyphenated name and my husband/wife is a lawyer" Customer - The people feel they are entitled to everything. Are rude, condescending and INCREDIBLY cheap. Will do anything to cheat you out of a buck and ALWAYS want something for free.

44. The "My kids ate it" Customer - The parents who let their kids eat produce and other foods that are priced BY WEIGHT because they were hungry. And how shall I ring it up if it's in your kids stomach?

45. The "I'll catch you in a lie/ Trust Issues" Customer - "Do you have any more of this?" "No, we don't." "Are you sure?" "Yes, we ran all out yesterday." "You don't have any in back?" "If we did, we'd have them out on the floor." "Really?" "Yes, really." "OK... well... can you throw my soda cup out for me?" "No, I can't." "Are you sure?" "Yes, we're not even allowed to throw out our own soda cups in the store." "Really?" "Yes. Really."

46. The "I can't find any help around here" Customer - This is the (usually) old customer who whines at an associate about the lack of help in the store, especially at a busy day, fully knowing that the associate is just a regular employee and can't do anything about it.

47. The "Most Famous" Customer - The type of customer that doesn't understand why they need to show ID for whatever reason. After all they come in almost everyday, being the only true customer your store has, in their mind.

48. The "Question" Customer - The Customer that doesn't seem as interested in shopping. They are more interest on how things work in your store. Such as ordering, how you replace the tapes in the register, etc, etc. (If your so interested get a job!)

49. The "Just Doesn't Get It" Customer - No matter how many times you tell this type of customer that there are no other sizes, shapes, or colors of a certain product they just don't get it and continue to ask if it comes in anything else.

50. The "Thomas Edison" Customer - This customer comes in looking for a product that doesn't exist. You try to explain that there is no such thing. You even call the company that you think should make it, are still shot down and then they still get mad because you don't have it. (Happens all the time in Home Improvement)

[EmuZombie Veteran]

51. The "Human Calculator" Customer - The supermarket customer who has added up (what they think) is the exact price of the ten THOUSAND items they are buying and then goes nuts on you when it doesn't come out to what the price they though it would be.

52. The "Incoherent" Customer - The person who cannot put together a rational sentence and/or cannot speak more than six words of English. The worst of this category are those who speak no English whatsoever and just point to things like you can, somehow, magically read their thoughts.

53. The "Blue Hair" Customer - A person whose entire day consist of riding around in senior citizen buses going from store to store and then constantly complain how the place up the street is 5 cents cheaper than you are, doing things so slowly that can back a line up faster than any of the other customers on this list.

54. The "I spend X amount of dollars here" Customer - This is the person that, when they can't get want they want, (which is usually a discount or being allowed to return something that's been abused) feels the need to say "I spend thousands of dollars here a year.", thinking that will allow them to have their way. If they make enough money to be spending that much, why do they need a discount?

55. The "I'm better than you" Customer - Thinks that because they make 6 figures a year, this gives them the right to act like they are better than someone who works harder and makes less.

56. The "Exceptional" Customer - This is the customer who is a total stranger to you and wants you to do something you are not allowed to or something you COULD do but have no reason to, and wants you to make an exception in their case. They suddenly try to seem like your friend. They want to return something without a receipt and know they can't but say "Come on, cant you make an exception for me?", as if they are different from anyone else who waltzes into the store. I had one just the other day. A guy came in with a parking ticket which he deserved. He parked in a reserved spot without a pass and said to me "Well, this is my first ticket...can you just cancel it? I will never do it again! You make exceptions for first timers, right?". Wrong, and how do I know you don't do this every week?

57. The "Foot In The Grave" Customer - The elderly type of customer that comes into your store and you swear they are going to die while in line or just after you finish ringing them up.

58. The "I'm Going To Die" Customer - The type of customer that always comes into your store with at least one if not several hospital tags around their arm at all times. Their pocketbook is full of medication that spills out as they're looking for their money.

59. The "Pharmacy Tech" Customer - The type of customer that comes in to fill a prescription and seems to know a little too much about the anti-depressants or painkillers. (hmmm)

60. The "Ass Crack" Customer - The type of customer that always has to bend over to look at things and show you the crack of their ass.

61. The "I work for the competition" Customer - You know the type, they meticulously check every item in the store, taking notes or speaking into a tape recorder. Then asks all sorts of operational questions, etc.

62. The "Reward" Customer - These folks promise their brood of rug rats that "If they're good, they can stop at the video game / toy store before they head home. "(Of course they never buy anything, and when it's time to leave, a horrendous screaming match ensues)

63. The "Just dropping off" Customer - Similar to the "reward" customer, except they drop the kids off at your store so they can shop somewhere else. ("You don't mind if they stay here and play do you?")

64. The "Short Attention Span" Customer - The type of customer that will ask one, easily answerable question, then cuts you off as you try to answer by asking another, totally unrelated question.

65. The "Potty" Customer - The ones that come in, knees buckling, holding they're crotch, whining "can I use your bathroom?" Then they leave without buying anything and then you discover they stopped up your toilet.

66. The "TSTO" Customer - A customer that buys something, returns it after two days, because they didn't know what to do with "all that buttons" (Too Stupid To Operate)

67. The "I was on vacation" Customer - Hey, I was out of town last week and didn't get the paper. You guys had this item on sale & I've been waiting for this sale all year. So see what-cha can do about selling it for the discount price. What do you mean the sales over and you ran out of stock? Well transfer it from your warehouse or something I need it now!

68. The "one word" Customer - These are the types of customers that walk up to the counter and say "scanners!" and expect you to know exactly what they mean. They usually want information about a product, where it is, how much it is, and any number of other things, but they expect you to be able to read their mind and figure out what they want. The customer will also stare at you like you are stupid.

69. The "Answer my own question" Customer - These are customers that are really need to ask you some urgent questions and then answer them for themselves and thank you for being so helpful when you really haven't said anything at all.

70. The "Untouchables" Customer - The person who just kind of flings the money at you, or if you're counting out change and you put your hand out so you don't have to pick it up coin-by-coin off the counter, will make every move necessary to keep from having to actually put it in your hand.

71. The "Rich-man" Customer - The type of customer that always has to show that they have money by breaking those $100 bills for everything they buy. This includes those candy bars, TV guides, newspaper, and those nice little 25 cent gums. Then after they leave you're stuck with almost nothing left in your draw.

72. The "Never Enough" Customer - These type of customers are usually only seen in liquor store mainly. They're the type that buy a 12 pack of beer and one extra can for one simple reason 12 just isn't enough.

73. The "They're Out There" Customer - The type of customer that doesn't want you to use the scanner, write down information, or even ask for their phone number to approve a check, because they think the FBI is watching them all the time.

74. The "Employee" Customer - The customer who thinks he works there. He/she stands behind you as you explain product A to another customer, then cuts you off and tells the person that you don't know what you're talking about. Then he tells the person that they should buy product B because his entire family, church, hometown, dog, and congressman it. Then he gets ****ed off when you interrupt, try to give your own opinion or knowledge of the product, or simply walk away.

75. The "I don't drink" Customer - The type of customer that buys only pints and wants the biggest bag possible to adequately hide exactly what they bought in the liquor store because they don't want anyone knowing that they drink.

[EmuZombie Veteran]

76. The "Customer Is Always Right" Customer- This one puts their entire faith in that phrase, and uses it as a verbal 'weapon' each time they are challenged. No matter how wrong they obviously are, they feel if they say, "The Customer Is Always Right" you will instantly respect them, die in instant agony at their feet, or worse, admit they are right and give them whatever they ask for.

77. The "Our Welfare Dollars at Work" Customer - This customer has never worked a day in their life, but obviously eats enough to feed a whole tribe and is accompanied by a bakers dozen of children. Each by a different father?? Trades their food stamps in for the cheapest beer and smokes they can find, and of course, always complain about how bad they have it

78. The "Xenophobic" Customer - This is the type of person who will put their items down on the counter about two feet from the actual register, then stand back. When it's time for them to pay, they will stick out their hand with the money, but won't come forward, so you have to lunge across the counter to reach them, and still don't come closer when you're handing them back their change. Join society or get back in the friggin plastic bubble.

79. The "Play Land" customer - The type who enters the store holding what looks like a squirming bunch of arms and leg, but claim that it is a "child". They promptly release the "child" upon entering the store assuming that the store is a play land and the staff a group of babysitters.

80. The "Serial" Customer - A customer that wastes your time by buying one or two items, then returns to his/her shopping, buying as many as fifteen items one or two at a time, until you're ready to commit mayhem.

81. The "I know somebody here" Customer - An annoying customer that you helped one time and thought that was the end of it, but oh no, now every time they come in they ask for you specifically and you have to help them EVERY time they come into the store. And your boss just thinks it's great doesn't he/she?

82. The "I-think-I'm-funny" Customer - the one who makes corny jokes about his own dumb mistakes - most of which you hear five times a day from all of these types of customers.

83. The "Too Slow, Too Fast" Customer - Usually a fast food customer. They're always able to find some kind of complaint with how the line is moving. Either it's too slow and they can't wait. Or it's moving too fast and they think that your doing a lousy job on the food instead of doing it correctly.

84. The "Soap Opera" Customer - The type that gets annoying because they want to tell you their whole life story about how their kids are on drugs, husband/wife left them, they just lost their job, and their in need of hemorrhoid cream. Often likes to talk to cashiers.

85. The "Genius" Customer -They call YOU for help then argue with you! (If you knew, why'd you ask me?)

86. The "Lotto-Crawl" Customer - The type of scratch ticket freak that you know is traveling from store to store all day long playing scratch tickets. Usually you find out from the employees in the surrounding stores.

87. The "Packy-Crawl" Customer - For those of you not from mass, or just haven't heard the term a packy is a liquor store. So needless to say these customers are just like the lotto-crawl customers accept they just buy nips at every packy that they come across so it looks like they aren't drinking as much as they are.

88. The "Perfect" Customer - Has, in their past, "done time" in every sort of retail or customer service job imaginable, so does their best to be polite and in short the total opposite of the customers they used to have to deal with! Usually great tippers if the service warrants. Can actually find what they need without tearing up the store. Doesn't come in 5 minutes to closing. Never curses or raises their voice, even when dealing with the occasional truly clueless employee. Carries a constant sense of "been there, done that".

89. The "Paper Checker" Customer - The moron of the hour that carefully analyzes every ream of paper, opens them to see what the paper actually looks like, and then when he decides, decides he doesn't want an opened ream of paper and takes a new one!

90. The "Daylight Robber Pikey" Customer - They come in, and simply want free stuff. One of two ways. ONE> Opportunist thief, buys a load of stuff, gets overcharged like 10p on an item [either till was wrong or cashier didn't see the little reduction sticker] and kick up a great big fuss, get down the manager [he usually gives me his badge + jacket for me to have the fun. :) ] and all hell breaks loose with him - or more often her - wanting the whole lot FREE. Often this is at peak time when we could do without having 3 of 6 staff [its a tiny store] tied up with a moaning moron. And that's it. But our latest manager [respect due!!!] is a lot like me, and just kicks out + bans the Pikey involved. TWO> Comes in the day after we switch over promotions to a new set and gets loads of a product that has just come off "Buy one - get one free" or similar offer and looks at the bill and demands that they get the free product. I politely explain that the offer has ended and ask if they would like some of those items taken off their bill or refunded [if they have already paid] and that is that. We're right, the customer is wrong!! But no, that is not good enough for a Pikey! They want the free items, they want them now! I walk them round the store to the place the product can be found - oh surprise! - there's no trace of any offer there. Do they give up? Do they ****! So they get the blunt treatment: Me: "Look, there is no advertising, the till isn't registering an offer, the offer is gone! If you don't like that then you can have the items taken off or you can have it all wiped and you can get out of my store.". That works no question.

91. The "expired coupon" Customer - They Hand you $60 worth of coupons which expired in August of last year, and informs you that you MUST accept them because another employee said you would.

92. The "what part of 'limit 1' don't you understand?" Customer - They always have to hand you you 22 coupons for "buy 5 get 2 free" items, and get ****ed when you point out the limit 1 per purchase clause. Get even angrier when it takes you 5 minutes to take off all of these coupons, 1 at a time (cause that is the way the register is set up).* with special thanks to the stupid ass store director who tells you "it's ok, no one counts how many coupons are used in each transaction."

93. The "Calorically Challenged" Customer - This customer will order the biggest, fattiest sandwich/ burger combo, supersize the fries and drink, order a second sandwich to compliment the first one, PLUS at least one dessert. When you ask what s/he would like to drink, s/he says, "Coke.... Oh, better make that a Diet."

94. The "Real Quick Customer" -The one who comes running in 2 minutes before you close, claiming they're only getting one or two quick things, when in reality they have no clue what they need and end up at the counter 20 minutes later with full arms.

95. The "Crash" Customer - The customer who causes a big crash with a stroller, big purse, etc. and then proceeds to say, "It just fell off the shelf. I'm not paying for that."

96. The "Wide Load" Customer - The type of customer that always has to complain that your store's aisles are too small as if they need to be around the size of a parking lot or something.

97. The "Freak Out" Customer - The type of customer that hears or sees something out of the ordinary with the processes of the store and then takes a nutty like it's the end of the world. Usually happens to a cashier if they hit the wrong button on the register and it makes a weird noise for some reason.

98. The "I'm so stupid, I'm lucky to be alive" Customer - This customer can be characterized by the questions they ask. Example, "You mean lighter fluid is flammable?". Or they'll come to the register with an obviously incomplete six pack and not notice. Even better" Give me a bag to put that in, I like to drink on the way home and I don't want to get pulled over....better make it two pints, it's a long drive."

99. The "Utterly Blind and Helpless" Customer - A very large percentage of our customers, will not consider for a second lifting their head to actually take a look around and possibly find what they need on their own. The real irony is how they always are just looking down at their fuse or battery or whatever they need to replace and state "I'm looking for one of these" when you could see that they never really looked at all, but instead made a beeline for the cash register upon entering the store.

100. The "What Your Not Open Tomorrow?" Customer - The type of customer that sees some reason for you to be open for holidays for those few things that they forget, as if we don't have families of our own that we would like to spend time with.

[EmuZombie Veteran]

101. The "****ing Price is Going Up" Customer - The type of customer that flips out whenever there's even a remote idea in his head that the price is either going up or has gone up. It could be a simple as just putting a a sparkly new sign to replace a batter old one, they still go nuts because they think the price just went up.

102. The "Wet Umbrella" Customer - The type of customer that always comes in from the rain and plops their soaked umbrella up on the counter so that water spills out onto the scanner, product, etc. in the area.

103. The "What Tax?" Customer - The type of customer that always tries to give you the exact amount for the price of the product and then forgets about the tax. So they have to dig through their pockets to fish for the change while they complain how there shouldn't be taxes on that certain product. Either that or they just try to hand you the exact change and then proceed for the door without even thinking about whether they had enough money.

104. The "Evil Stepmother" Customer - The kind of customer who considers your store the perfect place to beat the living crap out of their child. Regardless of the fact that the kid (1) doesn't deserve it, or (2) that everyone is watching, they feel the need to push the kid around, or, even worse, threaten to beat the crap out of the kid once they get out of the store.

105. The "Hippie Parent" Customer - These customers believe in letting their children work out all of their anxiety and frustrations from the week by screaming at the top of their lungs from the moment they walk in the door to the moment they walk out. You almost wish they'd turn into the "Evil Stepmother" customer just to shut the kid up.

106. The "Vapors" Customer - Walks up and down by the bargain book tables, constantly emitting flatulence and quickly moving away from whatever fellow customer (or unfortunate employee) on whom they've just unloaded. Even better when they continually utter, "Hmmmm. Mmmmm."

107. The "Why Did You Change It?" Customer - The type of customer that always comes into your store and complains that you keep moving the stuff in the store on them and it's making it hard for them to shop. Even though in reality you haven't moved anything in the store in over 2 years.

108. The "Look For It For Me!" Customer - A customer asks for a video or CD, then you bring them over to the section. They just stand there expecting you to do everything for you, not even trying to help you...problem is, YOU COULD PROBABLY SPOT THE ITEM FROM A MILE AWAY! (I like to tick them off by searching in the wrong section for 5 minutes, then "finally" finding it.)

109. The 'Nice But I Can't Afford It' Customer - This type of customer asks you to demonstrate a product for ages, asking about all of the setting/functions etc and after about half an hour of your time says 'Yeah, it's nice - but I can't afford it' and then leaves'.

110. The "Service Me" Customer - The kind that basically wants you get down and wipe their ass for them because they are the "customer". The type I'd like to hit with a shovel

111. The "I'm Right Your Wrong" Customer - The type that looks to get management over to talk to them because they think everything should be on sale all the time, wants to tell you how to run the store, etc, etc.

112. The "I want it all "Customer - The type that comes in for a sale and tries to buy the 20 cases of sale product the store has even though there's limits, and they can't bother with hearing limits because they'll just come in all day long until they have what they want.

113. The "Turtle" Customer - The type that takes....a.... very.... long.... time.... counting.... out..... change.... to.... give... you.

114. The "Hide my money" Customer - Who likes to keep their money in unusual places to prevent theft. This is the customer who, after you have told them the total of their purchases, digs into their stinking sweaty sock and pulls out these wet, smelly, rumpled bills. If I wanted my hands to smell that bad I would scratch my butt.

115. The "Disgusting" Customer - Absolutely grosses you out to even look at them, let alone deal with them at a cash register or help them reach something. May or may not be their fault due to neglect. Possible characteristics include: the robotic voice thing because they've had a tracheotomy, an oxygen tank wheeled along behind, an enormous, hairy mole or wart on the face. a garish physical deformity such as a stump which they wave at you or a facial anomaly of another sort, such as being 134 years old.

116. The "Potty Mouth" Customer - They type of customer that could be in a toy store surrounded by 5 year old and still insists that every other word out of their mouth has to be a swear.

117. The "My Spouse Is A Slave" Customer - The type of customer that always sends their spouse into the store to buy whatever they needed while they sit in the car out front waiting for them. What's worse about this customer is that their spouse could be in a wheel chair with two broken legs and a broken arm and still send their spouse in to get their things. Then let us help bring the stuff out to the car because we feel bad for the spouse. Instead of getting off their lazy ass and going into the store themselves.

118. The "Pot Head" Customer - The type of customer that comes in to your store reeking of weed, but they have no idea that they stink of it that bad because they're so freaking high. They either just by munchies, occasionally return computer games that require actual thought, think that the dumbest product that your store has ever carried is actually cool (until they come back down to reality) and complain when you don't carry rolling papers like every store should cater to what they need.

119. The "Pikey" [ PIE - key ] Customer - They are poor and cannot be bothered to do anything about it. Average intelligence here, thankfully, so they can distinguish between an open or closed till, and generally don't make needless fusses. They live off the government [i.e. the tax off of MY wages] and usually smoke about ?4 ($6) worth a day or more. Their children are loud, annoying and out of control. And hey, feel free to pick up any sweets you want and eat them on your way round the store... oh yes of course, fill your pockets for later too!!! Anyways, the parents get their shopping [usually constituting more poor-value junk/snack items than actual food] and bring it up. You can just tell if they are going to be short or if the card is going to be declined. But the good ones tell me how much they have and so it goes OK with them cause I can total it as I go along.

120. The "world revolves around my watch" Customer - The type of customer who wonders why you are closing early. You tell them because its 10pm, closing time. They then inform you that there watch says 9:59...as if people call him to set there clocks or something. I feel like being like the rock sometimes and saying "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR WATCH SAYS."

121. The "My Arms are Broken" Customer - The type that just stands there and watches you bag all $200 worth of their stuff while they do nothing.

122. The "Zero In" Customer - Customers who do everything except crawl over the counter when you are ringing something up. This phenomena has always been a mystery to me. Is it anal retention, or a really boring life? Regardless, they should realize how IRRITATING it is for the employee trying to help them. As you are looking at the price tag, they zero in on it, leaning over the counter to look at it as if it is the first time. Then, as you scan it into the register, they stick their face in the register, almost crawl on the counter to get a better look at how it scanned into the system--isn't that the whole idea behind a receipt? The do this for every item, and it starts to look like someone watching a tennis match. Many times I have felt like I should offer them a job application. If they find this process so thrilling, they would surely make an excellent employee--just make sure they work somewhere else, ok God?

123. The "Wet Money" Customer - These customers are either fat ladies storing money in their sweaty bras or little boys storing the money in there sweaty socks. By the time they finish shopping, the money is almost wet enough to drip. This has happened to me more times than I care to count. A sub-category is the customer, who while looking for something in their wallet or purse, will put the money they are about to hand you or the pen you let them borrow into their mouth. Now where has that money been?

124. The "Day Light Savings Time" Customer - The type of customers that still comes to your store either an hour too early or and hour after you've opened. And either complain through the window because your not open or says something like. "When did you start opening earlier?"

125. The "No Receipt" Customer - The type of customer that always has to attempt to return things without a receipt. Then they usually get all up tight because you have to check to see if your store carries the product.

[EmuZombie Veteran]

126. The What-I-actually-have-to-PAY-for-this? Customer - They wait until everything is rung up and you announce the total. They stand there and look at you in total disbelief and usually say things like "HOW much????" and "That wasn't the total I had...". Then and only then do they begin to search the grand canyon purse for the wallet, dig it out, search through it, exclaim "But it was right here earlier!", put it on the counter, continue to search the purse, taking everything out and putting it on the counter (I've seen women put everything on the counter from diapers-unused, thank God-to cell phones to pictures), until, after ten minutes, they finally unearth the checkbook. Now they have to find the pen. At this point, everyone behind them in line, the checker at the registers next to mine, and me, lunges at them with a pen. They very slowly write the check, checking the total several times while bitching about the prices, the taxes, just life in general. These are also the people who complain loudest about having to wait in line. You figure it out!!!!

127. The "Ex-Employee" Customer - The customer who once had a job like yours... "Well, when I worked here it was like this etc. etc." Usually involves them trying to get you to bend the rules, etc.

128. The "Bargain" Customer - The type of customer that will never buy anything for full price. They'll hunt down deals for months straight if they have to. They ask you almost daily if product X is going on deal soon. Then when it does they stockpile enough stuff to get them through the next year.

129. The "Clueless" Customer - Basically has absolutely no idea as to where he/she is, what he's looking for, all he/she knows is you can help them!

130. The "Breath Mint" Customer - Do you ever notice how the customers with the worst breath odor always seem to be the ones breathing the heaviest???

131. The "Wobble" Customer - The "over-sized" customer that easily gets in everyone's way as they wobble through the aisles looking for snack foods. They're the only customer you can tell has arrived in your store when your in the basement simply because you can almost see the floor supports buckling.

132. The "I beat the system" Customer - This type of customer deserves the absolute worst treatment of them all. They come up to your store driving their $50,000 Luxury Car, wearing their nice new fur coat, and wearing more jewelry than I could afford with a years salary. They go around the store grabbing their $100 in food and then when I comes to pay for the order they pay you the $100 in food stamps. (Where's the baseball bat when you need it??)

133. The "No Comprende" Customer -The customer who knows only certain phrases of English and always thinks you are asking "Can I help you?" and answers "No, no," when you really asked "Are you finding everything okay?" With these types you may be confused as to whether they really DO need help finding something, or they just don't understand you.

134. The "Abusive" Customer - The type of customer that you truly don't want in your store. Their mentality consists only of if they can't get their way through talking then all they do is threaten to kick the crap out of the employee after they get out of work. (Actually have heard about customers being out there too)

135. The "No Service" Customers - People that will not buy extended service for anything. They usually come back in a month to return their items and blame me because their manufacturers warranty is expired.

136. The "Where am I?" Customer - People that come into the store and immediately forget where they are. They constantly ask for things we don't sell, where a department is that they are standing is, or what store they are in when they write their checks.

137. The " Can you check the back room " Customer - when you are out of stock on a product on the shelf , this type of customer insists that you go and check in the back room because you might have more there. Even though you work in the store 50 hrs a week and you know exactly what you have and what you don't have. They will not be satisfied until you go and check and come back and tell them , sorry we don't have any in the back room. They usually do this when the store is full of people.

138. The "Big Bad Wolf" Customer - This customer likes to huff and puff when they have to wait in line for more than five seconds. They also like to drum their fingers on the counter and sigh heavily just to let you know that you have made them wait. When ringing up their purchase, this type of customer refuses to say anything and finally stalks off without a thank you when the transaction is complete.

139. The "I know the boss" Customer - The type of customer that thinks there's some special discount or something if you know the boss/owner of the store. So they make sure to tell you a few times that they know the boss.

140. The "My Friend" Customer - Kind of like the "I know the boss" customer, except this one seems to have a friend that knows more about running the store than you do. Then they tend to say "well my friend told me you did it this way", "that's not what my friend told me you guys did for returns", etc.

141. The "Bitch" Customer - The type of customer that complains about the price of every item in the store, complains about the fingerprints on the glass, the dirt on the floor, the messy shelf, the cart that wobbles, the lines that are just too long, that their credit card got declined, etc, etc, etc.

142. The "Quick Question" Customer - Thinks he/she can zoom up in front of the fifty or so people in your line to ask "just a quick question". Or two. Or three hundred.

143. The "My Husband Is A Very Important Person" Customer - Reminds you that her husband, who never seems to say anything anyway, is some important professor, or bank manager, or some hot-**** big-shot. Thus, you should provide him with extra-special service and bow down in honor.

144. The "Time Warp" Customer - Thinks that movies come out on video at the same time they are in the theaters. Also thinks books come out in paperback simultaneously with the hardback release. Blames you when these aren't true.

145. The "Jay-sus!" Customer - Harangues you because the "Christian" books are on the same aisle with the Buddhist books. Look, the category is called "Inspirational and Religion", not "Christian". This same customer will feel free to tell you why having books on witchcraft and New Age stuff is bad.

146. The "Proud Local" Customer - The type of customer that always comes into your store and is proud to be a local of your area, even though the part of town or town you live in is the worst spot on the face of the planet.

147. The "DUH" customer - The type of customer that comes into video stores Friday and Saturday nights and wonders why all the popular movies are rented out....will also call pizza places the night before thanksgiving and wonder why the delivery time is so long.

148. The "Skunk" Customer - The type of customer that you just smell coming and the second they're gone you go to drop a Lysol bomb on the whole store.

149. The "Nosey "Customer - The type of customer that always has to but into or listen in on conversations that are none of their business. Then they ask you later about them. Like "Did you get in that thing your boss told you to get the other day", etc.

150. The "Lean" Customer - The type of customer that is always leaning way too far over the counter. Makes you think they're going to try to swipe the register at any moment. They also tend to lean or stand too close to clerks on the sales floor.

[EmuZombie Veteran]

151. The "I can't tell time" Customer - These customers call a pizza place and agree when told '45 min to an hour' Yet, in only 20 minutes time, they call demanding where thier pizza is. Then argue about it when we tell them the computer said they orded 20 minutes ago. Get your watch fixed!

152. The "I need the cart in the back" Customer - Right after you spent an hour fixing the cart lines so all of them are straight and fitting fine, The customer decide to mess up the nice lines but pulling them all out to get at the one in corner.

153. The "Are you open?" Customer - This customer will ask you this question while you are at your register with the light on. Jeez, just because I'm dusting off the counter/straightening the bags/straightening the counter doesn't mean that I am closed! Do you know how tempting is is to say "No"?

154. The "Do you work here?" Customer - The type of customer that walks over to you while you are doing returns(putting unwanted items back in the right place) or stocking shelves, and asks, "Excuse me, do you work here?". Sometimes I just want to say "NO!".

155. The "My friend is a lawyer" Customer - The type of customer that attempts to use the point that their personal friend is a lawyer in order to scheme their way into getting things they want.

156. The " Shop from the Checkout Line" Customer - This type of person aggravates BOTH the cashier and customers waiting to make their purchases behind them, by either leaving their cart to get other items that they "forgot" or having their spouse or kids do their shopping while they wait in line. If you are a customer behind them, you may have picked that line from others because it either had the fewest customers or they had the smallest amount of purchases to be made.

157. The "Price Tag and/or UPC Sticker Switcher" Customer - This type of customer does not realize that they are committing retail fraud, and will vehemently deny doing the deed, even if they are videotaped doing it, or confronted by the cashier or store employees.

158. The "Under an Influence" Customer - This type of customer will pay for their purchases, and, due to being under the influence of drugs, liquor, or just preoccupation, leave without their purchases. If the cashier notices, and tells them, they mumble under their breath, grab their merchandise, and beat a hasty retreat.

159. The "Cell Phone" Customer - They stand in front of the line and blab on their cell phone to their friends and cause a major hold up. When you try to ask them what they want to order, the customer tells you or makes a gesture to you to be quiet so they keep on talking. Then when you try to help the next customer in line, the person gets ****ed off that you're ignoring them. Or if you ask that person what they want, they'll whip out their cell phone and call a friend or two to see what THEY want to order.

160. The "Can You Help Me" Customer - When you're rushing through a throng of people in the middle of the Christmas rush with food and bags in your hands, it's the customer that stops you and asks "you work here? can you help me?" Um... let me put my food in the back and clock in! first, sure.

161. The "I Absolutely Must Get the Coldest Carton of Milk" Customer - The type of person (almost always an older woman) who will reach to the very back of the dairy case, displacing countless other cartons of milk, in order to grab the one which she assumes is the coldest and freshest.

162. The "I leave merchandise I don?t want anymore all over your store" Customer - These customers are a forced to be reckoned with and they make your life a living hell. They are the ultimate impulse shopper who picks up stupid **** like fake dog crap that they think they can use to add to a gift basket to give to their coworkers as valentines day presents -- and then the suddenly decide that they don?t want it anymore, along with twenty other things -- and leave it somewhere in the store. These customers should be shot on sight -- or at least when you pick up the item say in a loud voice while flinging the object(s) around, "What ###### left this here?"

163. The "I really think you give a ****" Customer - These customers like to get in your check-out line and then proceed to tell you their life story which may or may not be limited to: why they are buying these items, their medical history, why they love shopping here, what do you think about this...or that...or this...or that. These customers are under the sick delusion that you actually give a flying **** about ANYTHING they have to say. Best defense: smile and nod, and when the leave the line give them the finger.

164. The "I know someone in the head office" Customer - These ******s like to dish out that they are in the know, or have stealthy connections to a special someone in corporate headquarters. They toss this little tidbit of information out during a heated argument and expect you to repent like they know Jesus Christ. These customers rank 9 on the annoyance scale and when dealing with them, watch how flustered they get when you ask for a name. Always, as politely as possible, remind them that you don't give a rats ass who they know -- they still aren't getting 10% off.

165. The "Do you have [insert some ludicrous item here]? Customer - These ###### seem to dream up retard items that you would have no business carrying.... i.e. Home Depot.. "I don't mean to bother you....but do you have sawwed off shotguns here?" Insert innocent look. Do be ashamed to say, "Listen, lady, if we sold shot guns here I guarantee I would have already shot your ass as soon as you walked through the door."

166. The "Sale Hound" Customer - This customer is a finely tuned machine when it comes to sales....but with the sale hound there is a flip side. While ringing up this customer's items their peepers are glued to the screen while they are mentally calculating if the item was on sale. When the item supposedly "on sale" is scanned and the price doesn't match what the customer thinks, they point and scream like it is the Salem witch trials. The "Sale Hound" conveniently didn't look at the sale sign that excluded the item that they are trying to purchase from the sale. Sometimes you wonder how retarded these customers actually are, or if they are illiterate. They often bring up 50$ items expecting to get them for ten dollars. They are utterly flabbergasted and then refuse to buy it....just another thing you have to put back on the floor. It is recommended that you mention HOOKED ON PHONICS works!

167. The ?Oh I was looking down here? Customer - The type of customer that is looking for the price of something on the shelf and cant find the sign, when there is a huge sign hanging 1 foot above the display in big bold letters. then they try to say they were looking for the smaller sign down here, when there is nothing there.

168. The" What Is The Meaning Of Life?" Customer - When confronted with a simple question such as "would you like a bag for that?" This particular breed of customer "uhms" and "arrs" for at least five minutes, as if you have just asked them the meaning of life. Some species delve into life stories as to why they would or wouldn?t like a bag..... It's a yes or no question, its really not that hard.

169. The "What?s Your Name?" Customer - Stares at your name badge, trying to decide on the correct pronunciation.. "Is your name mee-gan or Megg-an?" Once the pronunciation is established, they then move on to the origin of the name.. "Are you welsh?" My response, "No"... Unsatisfied, they then try to convince me that I am welsh and that I know absolutely nothing about my heritage. "You MUST be Welsh to have a name like that!" Yes, I guess I must be...

170. The "Do You Have The Time?" Customer - Looks up at the clock on the wall and then down at the checkout operators wrist.. sees that they have no watch and instead of reading the HUGE clock on the wall, still insists on asking the operator for the time.

171. The "Why?s That?" Customer - Inquires about a store policy, however is never satisfied with the answer, always replying with "But why's that?".

172. The "Laws Of Physics Undergraduate" Customer - Tries to push large pram down aisle, ignoring the fact that it seems to be getting stuck. Politely, you tell them that register 8 is the wide aisle and no matter what the pram WILL NOT FIT THROUGH. Customer looks at you like you are an idiot, and then replies "Well, I guess that's YOUR PROBLEM!!!" Yeah, I guess it is.

173. The "Doublechecker" Customer - Once sale transaction is complete, these ###### will not budge from your register until they have double checked everything to the docket, they usually look up at you and smile and say "Just making sure that you didn?t make a mistake." How polite of them.

174. The "That Can't Be Right." Customer - Watches you scan their extravagant selection of items, then when you tell them the total, they swear to god that it can't be right, that you've made a mistake and that they expected the total to be at least $100.00 cheaper. You let them check it to the docket and they realize that it is in fact the correct total, however it is still your fault.

175. The "Don?t Disturb My Discussion" Customer - Usually women, in pairs. Way too involved in their own little conversation to acknowledge that you are trying to serve them. When it comes to saying the total, they give you a "how dare you, I was talking" look, hand you their ATM card and just say "Thank you".... ok, I'll just use my ESP and guess whether you want it on cheque, savings or credit, if you want cash out and how much.

[EmuZombie Veteran]

176. The "Fashionably Deaf " Customer - Just nods when you say hello to them, giving you the impression that they are hearing impaired. These people don?t feel the need to communicate unless it is to point out a mistake.

177. The "Wait 'n' Glare" Customer - stand in line, glaring at you with a look to say "You should be serving ME now" continue staring and glaring, sighing, looking at their watch, bitching to other customers about the wait, loudly voicing their opinions like, "Can't she go any faster?" And then when you get to them, they have absolutely no idea what they want or how they are going to pay for it.

178. The "I'm Paying For These Separate." Customer - Comes up to your checkout and dumps a whole lot of stuff, all mixed up on the counter. So, you scan it, assuming it is all one big sale. You get to one item and put it through, to which the customer yells at you "They're separate!" as if you should somehow be able to read their minds.

179. The " Conflict Of Interest" Customer - Ask you if you accept the staff discount cards to a major retailer competitor. You explain that you don?t and that is because they are not part of our company chain and that they are in fact competitors... (makes perfect sense to me.) They then try to convince you that the last time they were in the store, the discount card was accepted.

180. The "Vacant - Eyed" Customer - Stands at the counter staring into space for however long it takes for you to get to them, then starts to think about what they want. Must over load the brain cells to check out the menu/displays before hand!!

181. The "Professional (insert profession here)" - In my case its photographer. Customers that spend thousands of dollars on equipment, but never have the education or experience to use it properly, and its my fault their pictures came out bad.

182. The "Oxymoron? Customer - They open with the same line every time. "I want a GOOD CHEAP (insert product here)" and are amazed it doesn?t exist.

183. The "I ain't got no receipt" Customer - This type of customer will try their hardest to get a refund on an item that they swear they bought from our store...too bad the video camera actually caught them picking up an item off the shelf and them returning to the service counter trying to get a refund!

184. The "I see it in a catalog, so it must be there" Customer - Calls catalog ordering and, when the colour/size/item they want is not available, throws a fit. Ignores the fact that the catalogue they're ordering from expressly says "While supplies last" or expired last year. Usually demands that you special order one just for them and contact them as soon as it is ready, even though you don't have that capability on your computer.

185. The "Cop" Customer - This customer seems to be under the impression that since he is a customer in your store, he also has to patrol for any signs of misconduct among the employees (nine times out of ten he is wrong when he accuses people of this, by the way). If he sees anything that he considers out of the ordinary (e.g. two associates talking, an associate drop something accidentally, or an associate walking down an aisle) he automatically assumes that it is the work of incompetent associates slacking off on the job. He feels that it is his God given duty to say something to you and threaten to contact management over it. Even though he can't prove anything and what other people do at work is really none of his ****ing business, he still seems to be under the impression that it's his authority to act as a universal store associate police officer.

186. The "Laxative" Customer - These customers that manage to **** all over the bathroom stalls, but somehow manage to miss the toilet.

187. The "Pick Pocket" Customer - With the slide of their hand, these customers remove your pen from your collar or pocket.

188. The "Grandpa" Customer - They claim to know more than you because they are older than you, but still ask you questions!

189. The "Got No Hands" Customer - These customers can somehow manage to load up their cart full of items, but when it comes to paying for the bill, they got no hands to write their check and ask you to write it for them.

190. The "Legally Blind" Customer - They ask you for the price of an item, even though it is right in front of their face.

191. The "Reject" Customer - Customer who shops at your store because they got kicked out of another store for being an idiot.

192. The "Rebound" Customer - This customer loves to ask you for information, then goes to the competitor's store. A couple of days later they come back to your store asking the price and information again and then goes back to the competitor's store. And the cycle continue's over and over again....

193. The "Monthly Paycheck" Customer - A customer who asks you for a price on computer system, radio..etc, asks for the specifics for it and when they get all the information they want say " I'll come back at the end of the month when I get paid."

194. The "Indentured Servant" Customer - You sold a product to this customer, made little or no commission on it, but since they bought the product from "you", you are forever in their debt and need to help them with anything they wish and do it at no charge!

[kev64]

Like I'm going to read all that. :no:

Your right the back button is my friend.

[Banjo]

Read it all, great stuff! Very true :laugh: (Y)

[trashpickinman]

had nothing else to do, so read it all also, I'm sure all of us have done at least one of those things at one time or another.

[z1ppeh]

i worked in a golf shop for almost 7 years, part time and full time during my school holidays - and 95% of them are SOOOOOOOOOOO true!

customers are ALWAYS dumb - that is the ONLY thing about them :)

the coldest carton of milk person is so true... we had a drinks cabinet, chilled, and people used to knock all the others out and fizz them up just to get ot the one at teh back, which lil did they know were the last ones put in, so they were warm, so then they exchange it for one at the front... ###### fs!

[BTallack]

I can't believe I read the whole thing. Reminds me of my days working at Save-on-Foods as a cashier.

[Major_Tom]

*starts reading*

5 hours later

*ends reading*

lol i dunno whats sader, the fact that those are true or that I read them all. Good stuff tho!

[Samoa]

LOL

[IP]

wow so long...very good though...some of them sounds like my mom lol

for eletronics/technology/computer related items:

me...i go in...grab what i want...pay...walk out....

my mom...go in...spots the item...doesn't grab it...walks around the entire store...grabs it...asks the sales associate like a million questions...(if item is over $300 she will force the sales associate to ask the manager for a discount)...thinks about it for like half an hour...finally pays for it...walk out...

that is why i never shop with my mom