NeoBytes :) is an occasional feature that takes a step back from the big headlines, to take a look at what else is happening in the vast, scary expanse of the tech world - often with a cynical eye, always with a dose of humour.
When I was 16, my parents rewarded me for some surprisingly good exam results with a Seiko Kinetic watch. It wasn't a 'smart' watch in the modern sense - but it was leagues ahead of many other watches, thanks to its self-winding rotor mechanism which, attached to a tiny electrical generator, was able to charge and store enough power to keep the battery running for weeks.
As a teenage boy, I quickly learned that the most efficient method of charging the watch was also the most enjoyable. I loved that watch, almost as much as I loved myself while charging it up - but I could scarcely imagine that one day, technology might evolve to the point where every device could be charged this way.
But that day - that magical day - may soon be upon us.
Pornhub - the folks behind the adult website of the same name - have unveiled their new wearable device, the appropriately named 'Wankband'. The device - which seems to exist only as concept renders, for now - appears to be developed around the same idea as my old Seiko watch - as the product's website explains:
Start jacking on: The wankband creates power when moved in an up and down motion.
Create dirty energy: A kinetic charger inside stores the electricity generated.
Guilt-free electricity: Now use that 100% sustainable energy to charge any of your devices.
That's where things get a little vague - after all, it's one thing to generate enough power to keep a mechanical watch going, but the tiny battery of a watch is a long, long way from the comparatively ma-HOO-sive batteries that power our other devices, such as phones and tablets.
One has to wonder just how many of those "up and down motions" will be needed to create enough "dirty energy" to juice up an iPhone, or - somehow - a laptop. Indeed, one has to wonder just how practical this solution might actually be - it's all very nice to have fully charged devices, but perhaps slightly inconvenient if it requires you to spend 23 hours of the day in a self-indulgent frenzy.
But for those who are excited - so to speak - by this promising new product on the horizon, Pornhub is inviting you to become a "be(a)ta tester" for the new device by signing up on its website.
You never know - you may be chosen to help perfect this technology, and usher in a brave new world in which our devices are always charged, and everyone has at least one very muscular forearm.
In the meantime, you can check out Pornhub's video below (don't worry, it's SFW!) - and rest assured that the Wankband is "100% unisex, and works just as well for women" as for men:
36 Comments - Add comment